19 | doing our best.

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chapter nineteen.
doing our best.

doing our best

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We kissed for a long time. My hands eventually found and grasped onto Edwin's shoulders while he grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me closer. We stayed like this for a little while, making out until we needed to breathe and then going back at it frantically as if we were running out of time or something.

I didn't know how much time had passed before Edwin eventually pushed us apart as gently as possible, his hands still on my face and his round eyes glossy. "I think it was about time we did that," he laughed.

I laughed with him and sunk my head down onto his chest, my hair pressed into his neck. "Thanks for not pushing me away." I said.

"Why would I do that?"

"If you didn't like me, you would." I told him. "I didn't know how you felt. I just...felt that it was important to take that risk."

Edwin paused before saying, "Well I'm glad you did. I certainly didn't have the guts to do it. I mean, I was trying to confess to you, sorta, when I told you all that. I just didn't know if you picked up on it."

"No," I admitted. "Not really. But I just felt something well up inside of me and I knew that all I wanted to do was kiss you. It was like every cell in my body just wanted it. I don't know. That sounds stupid."

"Well, then that makes me stupid too because I felt that way as well."

We were quiet for another minute or so. I felt Edwin's chest rise and fall with each breath he took. I listened to his heartbeat. The boy ran one of his hands through my hair, eventually resting it on my upper back, a few inches below my T-shirt's collar.

It didn't take long before I began to cry. Edwin noticed immediately and wrapped his arms around me. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I just..." I felt stupid once again. "I don't want this to end. I wanna lay with you here forever, under the stars. I—I don't think I've ever missed someone before who was literally right next to me. Jesus fuck," I wiped my eyes with a free hand. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I miss you too, and you're in my arms. I wish I could hold you here for the rest of my life and shield you from all the bad in the world...your parents, school, your shitty minimum wage job..." I laughed at his words before he continued. "If I could, I would. But, you know what? At least we see each other every day at school, and we can hang out on the weekends. And summer is coming in like less than two months so we can do this every night if we want to. Just because right now won't be forever doesn't mean we have to be upset. We can relive now as many times as we want."

I nodded, tears—happy ones this time—still streaming down my face.

"Okay."

🌌

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