[COMPLETE]
Kyran Lee finds the boy who frequents the McDonalds restaurant he works at on Main Street pretty cute.
To put it simply, two high school boys broken in different ways slowly fall in love.
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As much as I wanted to, I refrained from pulling Edwin close into a hug. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable or anything, especially not in his own home.
As I sat and half-listened to Edwin drone on about something his grandma's dog did a few months ago, a few anxiety-ridden thoughts plagued my mind, completely blocking out whatever my friend was saying to me from my brain.
I knew I couldn't stay long at Edwin's house because I needed to get home as soon as possible. About twenty minutes into my visit I was already feeling the familiar anxiety kicking in, knowing that my parents would probably be wondering where I was and expecting me home immediately.
I didn't bring it up, though, fearful that Edwin would assume I was uncomfortable and wanted to leave because of him, or his family—which definitely wasn't the case. I thoroughly enjoyed his family members, as well as the overall vibe that surrounded me within that house. I knew that everyone was full of love for each other—something that felt quite unfamiliar and new to me, personally. A small part of me deeply envied the type of care Edwin's parents gave him, and I thought about how much I wished I could have something like that instead of two stern, cold-hearted strangers as parents.
I sighed softly and brought myself back to the present, thankful that Edwin didn't seem to notice me zoning out completely. He was still going on about the dog story, his gaze fixated onto a little fidget toy he played with in his right hand. I watched him speak, the way his mouth moved with every syllable. I noticed the way he didn't like to simply brush away a stray strand of hair, but completely push his hair back, causing it to get messy and appear quite unkempt.
I was definitely aware from the first moment I saw the boy that I definitely found him attractive, but as time went on and after seeing him act like his true self around me, I knew I was beginning to like him a bit more. But of course I knew I would have to keep that to myself, in fear of many terrible things happening to either of us. The mere idea of my parents finding out I had even the littlest bit of an attraction to the boy made my head spin and my stomach hurt from the nerves. If things between Edwin and I were ever to move forward in a romantic way, I knew my parents would need to stay out of it completely, or else they'd find a way to fuck it all up. I didn't want that for me, or for the pretty boy sitting across from me.
My frantic thoughts continued—was the risk of my parents finding out worth pursuing Edwin? It wouldn't be fair to him if we fell in love and my parents were to rip it all apart. Well, if we did fall in love. Chances are I was just crushing on a straight guy who didn't believe in love or some bullshit like that. I'd understand, though. Having the whole universe and luck against you can make you feel pretty shitty and unworthy of love. But I had a sliver of hope that he'd still be interested in a relationship, because if I could go through living a life with parents who never showed me love, yet I still managed to feel that emotion strongly myself, then maybe Edwin still could too, despite the despair within his life.
