Chapter 17- Trapped.

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"Sun drop... i'm not angry with you." He says standing in front of me, with a knife close enough, to threaten a nick at my skin at any time.

"I know." I say looking down but the blade of his knife lifts my head up again.

"I am disappointed" he spits out before slicing a red mark across my face, making me grunt out in pain.

"Oh, now, now." he says kneeling down.

"Don't be like that. You know you deserve it." He says his face growing more bitter for each word he was saying.

"I know..." I mumble going to look down but another cut was made right beside the other one.

"Argh!" I bite my lip before tears could dare to fall, looking up at him again, wanting nothing more than to strangle him. But he was my father. And he was right. I was the one who had been disloyal towards him! I deserved this and not a second thought went into that.

"Now" he says making me dare a look his way.

"I will leave you to... fix yourself up. Be back in an hour..." the last part almost sounded bored. Like he couldn't even be bothered to kill me off if he wanted to. As soon as he was out of the room I let out a scream knowing he wouldn't be able to hear it through the soundproof walls. Tears started strolling down my cheeks as i tried to wrangle out of the chains. But to no use. I knew this! I worked with these chains on a daily basis... at least i used to. I grimaced at the thought, but I didn't even know what was wrong or what was right anymore. Alma was so... Alma was perfect! And my father... well he was far from being perfect. But i had some good memories with him. Like when he taught me to kill a dear. Or when he sent me out on my first assassin mission... thinking about it that might not've been normal. Nor fun. But at the time it had been. I grunt as I sit back down leaning against the wall. This was hopeless. I wouldn't be able to get away from my father on my own. And even if i did I couldn't go back to Alma's loop. Not after that. So basically, all I could do now, was wait for my own father to kill me off. I couldn't help but start laughing. I kept laughing tears rolling down my cheeks. I knew i probably sounded like a maniac. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all...

"This is ridiculous!" I shout at myself, the room making it sound awfully hollow.

"Get. The fuck. Up!" I shout but my body isn't working with me. It's like my body has given up on me but my brain knows that if I don't get up, i'll die.

(A/N: Not me venting-...

I move my knees under me but when i try to get up my leg bails on me.

"I don't know! What I'm supposed to do, okay?!" I shout again sounding more manic than first time.

"I don't love her! I don't love him! I don't like myself!"

"What do you want me to say?!" I shout between ragging sobs and short lived breaths.

"If you're just going to torture me anyways! THEN JUST KILL ME!" I shout, this time knowing who to. Or more what to. The universe. The stupid fucking universe! It hadn't let me keep one good thing. Not my mother, not a loving father, not even some older sibling to fit into those roles! Alma and the children were gone. Hell my father had probably gone back to kill them!

I cried out this time just screaming. Not because of any physical pain. Just because i could. This was the only, thing i could control right now. So to fucking hell with it! I couldn't use my peculiarity I didn't have the energy.

"Please just... let me die!?" I beg before everything goes black...

_________

Wow that felt awfully good... not me venting in my books-

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