Rebellious Love

~Part 14: Choice~

"N-no... Philip has nothing to do with this, Edward, please"

Realizing his action, he quickly let go of me then walked backwards a little as he clenched his own hair before facing me.

I can see the anger from him rising, He was mad. He was furious yet at the same time, he was petrified.

"No... you can't, if this is about both of our political marriages, m-maybe I can... No, I will find a way about it" He spoke and held both of my arms but this time, he was gentle.

He tried to assure me that there's another way, that there must be something to solve this matter yet...

It will cause great chaos between the two families. And I don't want to put his name in vain.

I didn't want to, I don't want to let go of what we had but the circumstances aren't the same anymore. I don't want him to suffer the consequences just because of choosing me.

"Don't you understand, Edward?" I tried to keep my composure and pushed him away

"I am doing what's best for you, you should know very well that Mara is a Varquez, once you married her then you'll be granted a place on the throne... but if you still insist on fighting what we had, there's a chance that you'll be losing that position you had as a prince and the chance to become an emperor, there's even a possibility that my title will be taken away from me and will be banned from this kingdom once our secret is out. Then we'll both suffer!" I added while clenching my hand.

"Abigail... please, don't throw me away like this" He begged and clung into me, wrapping his arms around my body tightly however I refrained myself from hugging him back.

I tried to keep my composure but my body didn't communicate.

A tear slowly rolled down into my eyes but instead of hugging him back, I gently pushed him away again.

I don't want to see him like this, I didn't want us to end up like this yet I'm afraid of taking any risk anymore. If we don't end what we have, we will face bigger consequences in the future, whether we like it or not.

They can call me a coward all they want but, I couldn't bear to see him getting hurt just because of me.

"I love you, Edward, I always have. I wanted our love to bloom but... we are not destined for each other. We should bring our relationship to an end, it's not worth the struggle. I.... Can't see a future when I'm with you" I exclaimed as I felt my heartbeat dropped. The moment I said those words, I knew, I broke him more than it broke me.

It hurted him more than it hurt me.

"I am sorry but I'm doing this for both of us, I don't want you to lose what you have just because of me and I am the same. I don't want to disappoint Duke Alphonse and I wanted to protect you" I uttered as I slowly reached for his hand.

It doesn't matter to me if we don't end up together, what matters to me is that I can stay by your side not as your spouse but your knight along the way and ensure your safety. Not just our Prince, but our future Emperor

I held into his hand tightly and slowly caressed it but stopped when he slowly removed mine from his.

"You've changed" He clenched his fist as he spoke, averting his gaze away from me.

"You speak as if you were my mother" He uttered and took a deep breath "I thought you'd be different but... I was wrong" He added and started walking towards the door where he entered. Not even looking back.

If only he knew, how much I wanted to hug him, to assure him and to come with him but I couldn't.

This is for the best... not just for me but for the both of us.

"My lady, If you need me... don't hesitate, I am always ready to accept you back" And with that, he just left. Closing the door in the room, just like closing the last chapter of our book.

I felt my knees weaken as I let myself fall into the cold floor. My heart momentarily paused, overwhelmed by the intense pain I was feeling in my Heart.

This time... I didn't hold back and let my tears fall.

I was devastated.

"I'm sorry" I murmured.

If only fate... would bring us back together then I wouldn't miss the chance.

But right now, I wanted to protect him... Once the Varquez knows about our relationship, they won't hesitate to bring us down. And I don't want that to happen.

I won't regret my choices If I want to ensure Edwards well-being, I know I should end things with him.

I knew what the Varquez are capable of... After my encounter with Lady Mara earlier, my realization hit me...

I saw through Mara's eyes when she spoke about their engagement earlier. She is desperate for the throne. The throne of the Empress. And she'll do anything to grab it, even though it means killing her enemies.

Because that's what Varquez's are, they are like wild beasts that no hunters could polish.

I am a Princess, but that's not enough to hunt them down. They have the eunuch and the Empress to protect them. My authority isn't yet enough.

I took a deep breath and sighed, leaning into the wooden wall as thousands of memories came running back. Thousands of thoughts I need to answer.

Yet....

I was too tired to confront things now... At least, I can give my body the rest it needs after a long day.

I took a deep breath and stood up slowly.

Walking towards the exit of the room where my servants were waiting for me to finish.

Edward came in unnoticed so he must've gone out without getting caught by anyone.

Except....

"Are you okay, Princess?" Lara, one of my servants asked worriedly when she noticed my pale skin and my weakened state.

She held my arm and guided me towards my room while I stayed silent and let her pull me.

"I will get your clothes ready" She spoke and let me sit on the edge of my bed gently then grabbed some clothes I could wear at night.

"Thank you, but you can go out now" I uttered and sighed before standing up again and faced her.

As soon as I ordered her to leave, she then bowed her head and left the room without having a second thought.

"Princess, your father would like to speak with you" My butler informed me from outside, good thing I was done wearing my clothes as I then ordered to let him in.

"Father..." I greeted and bowed my head a little before facing Duke Alphonse.

"Did you do what I asked you to do?" Was the first thing he asked before sitting on the nearest chair.

"Yes, I... I already..." I stopped for a moment as I clenched my fist and looked away from him.

"I did what you asked, I ended things with him..." I uttered, trying my best not to let my voice break in front of him.

"Then please take a rest" He spoke and stood up then tapped my shoulder lightly.

"I am proud of you, my daughter"

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