Flashbacks

Christmas: Believe

TW: Brief mention of a child being hit by an adult.

=======

Children sleeping, snow is softly falling, dreams are calling like bells in the distance.

We were dreamers not so long ago but one by one we all had to grow up.

When it seems the magic slipped away, we find it all again on Christmas day.

Believe in what your heart is saying. Hear the melody that's playing.

There's no time to waste. There's so much to celebrate.

Believe in what you feel inside and give your dreams the wings to fly.

You have everything you need if you just believe.

-Josh Groban

=======

It was the 22nd of December. A light snow fell onto the already fallen precipitation that had been accumulating over the past week. It was cold and despite an offer of a ride from Mr. Matthews, Shawn opted to walk home.

The last three weeks seemed surreal to him, as though they had been a dream rather than reality. He had to continually look over all the mementos he'd collected and pictures he'd taken over the course of the month to assure himself that everything had actually happened. There were only a few things left to be fulfilled on his list and he already knew that they were going to happen. Jon and Audrey made sure to take care of everything he'd asked for, often going above and beyond for him.

Shawn trudged through the snow in the new snow boots Audrey insisted that he wear if he was going to be out in the cold. He dragged his feet along the sidewalk leaving two long trails in his wake.

When he first made out his list, he thought that it was comprised of simple things that didn't cost much. It wasn't until he overheard Mr. Matthews talking to his wife about the expense of Christmas and detailing the cost of almost everything on his list that he realized that Jon and Audrey must have been spending a lot on him. An awful guilt hung heavily on his heart. He knew Jon didn't make much as a teacher and would never ask his wealthy parents for any kind of help. He also knew that Audrey didn't make much either at Hannigan's and depended on tips to supplement her income to a livable amount.

Every day that passed they did more and more together, almost constantly going somewhere or eating out. Even the stuff they did at home- the ornament material, snacks, movies- all that stuff had to be bought. All that stuff cost money. He never thought his list would be so expensive and he didn't mean for it to be. He just didn't know.

In that light, he didn't understand why they went ahead and did everything anyway. He really would have just been happy to have Audrey with them and a small tree. That would have been enough. It would have been much more than he'd had in any Christmas past.

Shawn sighed and stopped walking. He tipped his head back and stared into the falling snow, letting the snowflakes accumulate on his cheeks and eyelashes.

Maybe I should get a job, even if it's just some small something I can do to earn a little money and start to repay them.

He wished he'd thought of that sooner so he could have asked Mrs. Matthews if there was any chance she needed a new babysitter for Morgan.