Convoke

Chapter 22

Ezra nodded. "You can't keep forgetting that I'm a demon. It's easy for us to snap. If I had attacked him, and you had tried to stop me, I might have hit you too."

Tom stared into his large dark eyes, troubled to see the self-loathing so visible. Whether he was trying to prove a point that maybe the demon acted differently around him, or whether he was trying to cement his feelings when Ezra gave him reasons to give up, he stepped into him and hugged him.

Tom wrapped arms around his back and pushed the side of his face into his shoulder. Ezra tensed against him, and Tom wondered whether he had made a mistake. Was he still angry? He didn't dare to peel his head away to check.

After a few awkward seconds, Ezra gently asked, "Why?"

Tom could feel his heart thumping against his own. "Because I want to," he whispered.

Slowly, like Tom was made of thin glass, Ezra leaned into him, and his arms gradually wrapped around his shoulders, securing Tom's body to his. They hugged for a while, settling into the silence of the night, and each other.

Something was changing between them. Tom felt it as the seconds grew in numbers. Ezra had left because he was once again protective of him. What had he thought about when he was trying to calm down? Was he finding his feelings too? And was he trying to talk himself out of falling further into those feelings? Tom hated that he had no idea what he was thinking and hugged him a little tighter.

He could simply ask, but he liked the thrill of hope.

Surprisingly, Tom was the first to let go, and to pull back. Ezra's arms didn't fall away. His hands lingered on Tom's shoulders, as his gaze explored his face. Tom kept his hands on his waist, staring back.

"I'm a demon before I'm anything else," Ezra spoke softly.

Before what? Someone to love? "I disagree."

"That could get you hurt."

"I trust you."

"You shouldn't."

"Maybe not, but I still do." Tom shamelessly looked at Ezra's full lips. When his eyes returned to his, they were looking at Tom's lips too. The blush had crept up his neck and over his cheeks and nose, yet he didn't move forwards, nor did he move back. His dark eyes were glazed with a deep yearning.

In that moment, Tom would have given anything to hear his thoughts. And soon, the moment was over, and Ezra hesitantly stepped away, pursing his lips and looking at his feet. "It's late," he said. "You really need to sleep."

"You do too." Tom pointed to the bed, eager to be close again. "There's room here, if you want." Ezra eyed the neat duvet, tucked under two pillows side by side. "I just want you to be comfortable. You've probably not slept well in days." His delay meant that he most likely hadn't. "If you're going to say no because you think it'll make me uneasy, then don't. Me and my friend Cal share a bed all the time, and he kicks in his sleep."

Ezra cleared his throat, staring at Tom's smile. "I'll think about it." He sat on the blanket on the floor instead, stubbornly crossed arms over his firm chest.

Tom didn't want to pressure him, especially not after pushing his luck by hugging him. The last thing he wanted was to make him uneasy and wishing to be elsewhere.

He switched off the light and slid under his duvet, making sure to untuck all the sides in case Ezra snuck in beside him. Tom could still feel Ezra's strong body against his, and his warmth seeping through his clothes, and his smell burying into his nose. An odd conflicting comfort had fought within him. His demon aura still made his gut question his safety, despite him wanting to be as close as humanly possible.

Tom tried to think what kissing him would feel like. Ezra was big, yet timid. Blunt, yet shy. Strong, yet incredibly gentle. He had seen him in his most nervous state and seen him fighting as if dragging another demon by their hair was his second nature. Tom liked all of him, the withdrawn and the mighty personalities battling to be present.

He closed his eyes and tried to think of anything other than him. Almost an hour passed until he stopped noticing his heart uncontrollably trouncing around his chest. His mind rounded and drooped with odd dream-like thoughts, until a noise by the bookshelf sharpened it awake.

He heard what sounded like feet slipping out of shoes, and the bottom of the bed dipped. Ezra froze, so Tom closed his eyes. He was facing the wall, if Ezra laid next to him, he would be staring right at him. He wanted to turn around, though he didn't want to scare him off, so he froze too.

Ezra waited almost thirty seconds before moving again. The bed dipped further and further, until he laid down on top of the duvet, leaving a foot of space between them.

Tom had never focused on being so still. He opened his eyes when Ezra rolled over. He was facing the wall. Tom could only just make out the shape of his back in the dark room. Silence had never been so obvious, and the presence of another had never felt so intense.

When he first shared a bed with Kimberley, it had never felt this daring. She had been all over him, cuddling up to him, and kissing him, and tangling together between the sheets. Laying calmly next to Ezra was somehow more exciting.

Another hour jumped by until he had calmed enough to sleep. When he next woke up laying on his stomach, with an arm dangling over the side of the bed, he almost jolted up with anticipation. But he played it cool and stretched under the warm duvet and slowly rolled over onto his back.

The other side of the bed was empty, except for a ripped piece of paper on the pillow. Tom squinted at it with tired eyes and read aloud, "You also kick in your sleep."

He leapt out of bed and quickly showered. He got ready as fast as he could and made two cups of hot tea. Dawn was still barely touching the horizon, yet Ezra was already sitting patiently in the bushes.

Tom approached him with a smile that hadn't left his lips since waking up. "I don't kick in my sleep," he said, giving Ezra the cup, and sitting down next to him. The air was so bitter, he coughed as it touched the back of his throat.

"You do."

Tom stared until Ezra looked away, sipping his drink as a distraction. "Does that mean you didn't have a good night's sleep?"

"No, I slept well."

Tom hid his satisfaction. "You don't have to leave so early. I don't mind you being there when I wake up."

"I'm with you all the time. It's important that you still have your privacy." Ezra continued to look away, staring towards the trees with fake interest. "And an angel called for me early. I had a job to do."

"Oh, did they summon you?"

"No, they can't. I was awake when I felt his presence outside. I knew he was there for me, though he seemed interested as to why I was inside the building."

Tom felt his cheeks heat at the thought of Ezra lying there, watching him sleep. "Did he ask?"

"Angels don't care enough about demons to ask personal questions." Ezra finally looked at him. "Humans don't usually care either."

"Well, it's not every day that a human gets to meet a demon like you." Tom knew he was turning red, and hoped Ezra thought it was because of the harsh morning against his pale skin.

"A demon like me?" Ezra repeated with eyes flicking all around his face.

"Yes," Tom replied, leaning forwards, making sure to bump their knees. "A demon like you."