Save your tears • Jasper Hale

•10•

It's October and things have gotten harder.

I find myself silently crying to sleep, thinking of Jasper, missing him, wishing he was here and that thing were different. My mood swings have been hell. One minute I'm fine, then the next I'm causing problems, then I'm having a whole breakdown.

It got to the point where I felt like Karmen was making slick comment so I destroyed her room.

I feel like I'm losing my mind...

I haven't been looking the best either.

I haven't been wearing my usual fashionable clothes. Instead I've been wearing pajamas, leggings, hoodies, and crocs to school. The bags under my eyes look horrible and my skin looks dull and grey almost. I haven't even been wearing makeup or doing my hair. It's always in a messy bun or left in an untamed state.

I look sick.

I feel sick if I'm being honest.

Only thing that's good is that I'm fully healed from my stabbing.

Amethyst has been trying help me with my mood swings and mental health. It either ends with me screaming at her or ignoring her as I slam my door and lock it.

I haven't been eating much either, causing me to loose a lot of weight. My ass is basically flat, and my boobs aren't as big anymore.

I'm loosing myself

And apparently Bella is too.

I've heard through the grape vine she has to be forced to come to school, eat and shower. According to her father, who showed up to our house, she just stares out of her window all day as soon as she comes home from school. He also mentioned her screaming in the middle of the night.

He's worried for her, he asked Amethyst how I'm handeling it, and she didn't give too much info. Just that I'm hurt and trying to cope.

He said something about sending her back with her mom, because her feelings towards Edward aren't healthy, and he feels like he can't help.

I can't say too much. I would be a hypocrite if I did.

Besides Bella and my emotions, things have gotten a tad bit better in the house. By a tad I mean an inch.

Juniper is still holding a grudge with her other siblings, but she some how managed to tolerate painting Luke's nails black. Don't know how she didn't rip his head off, but I think it has to do with the fact I warmed up a bit to him.

He hasn't made any move to hurt me. infact , I found out in my days where I don't leave my room, he leaves my food outside my door with a reccomendation of a show I should watch.

We don't really talk to eachother but he also watches me while I'm at school, not sure as to why.

Kaydence and Karmen have calmed down on their arguing, but it's obvious they are in competition to be the best. It's kind of funny because Kaydence forget Karmen is more than a demon.

Now when it comes to Journey, all of us feel a way, even her own siblings. She tends to whine a lot and gets upset when things don't go her way. She also annoys y to the point where Juniper accidentally made a vine bust through the living room window.

Like I said, an inch in progress.

•

I sigh as I sit down at my desk in the back.

All day I have been feeling weird, like a bad weird.

Just like that night

The bell rings and everyone comes in.