Little One (Will Riker Agere Story)

Ch 12

Will couldn't remember it well. He had only been five years old at the time. But he could remember crying, and hiding his stuffed puppy in his school backpack. He could remember his father holding him and telling him that everything would be okay and Will would get over it eventually, that he didn't need toys anymore. Will couldn't help but feel that it was a punishment.

For a long time Will missed his toys. He would savor the time he got spend with his friends, playing with their toys. He never asked for new toys for his birthday. Any toys he got went straight to the trash after the gift giver was gone.

***

Kyle didn't know about his stuffed puppy as far as Will was aware. It stayed hidden away until his father left on business. Then he would pack up his puppy into his bag to sleep with at the neighbors' until his father returned and it was shoved to the back of his closed once again.

He managed to get away with it for two full years. And he could still remember the day that he came home from school to find his father holding his stuffed puppy.

He regretted taking the short cut through the trees to get home the second he entered the house. It had been particularly cold, and Will had forgotten his hat. He had run through the trees through the couple of inches of fresh snow, ready to get into the warmth of the house and strip of his now wet coat. When he saw Kyle's face he wished he'd stayed outside to freeze.

Will silently hung his coat and removed his snow boots. He hung up his backpack and stepped forward with his head hanging.

"You're not a little boy any more, Billy." Kyle said, holding the puppy loosely in his grasp, if Will wanted he could just take it back from his father's hands.

Will kept his eyes on the floor. He wouldn't cry. He was seven years old, he didn't need to cry.

"I know." Will said quietly.

"You know? Then why are you still carrying around this toy?" Kyle asked, "I told you to get rid of this."

"It was from mom." Will said, his voice still low.

"No it wasn't. Your mother didn't give this to you. I did." Kyle said, "You can't keep it."

He didn't know if he was lying. He was too young to remember anything before his mom had died. Maybe he really had made it up just like when he told his friends that his mom was still alive, and was going to come back one day.

"Yes, Sir." Will nodded, still not looking up at his father.

He slowly reached up and took the toy from Kyle's hands, and walked over to the trash can and dropped it in. Will felt a tear escape his eye, but he quickly wiped it away before his father could see. He didn't need to cry.

He could feel Kyle pat him on the head.

"You're okay, Billy." Kyle said, before walking away.

Will stood there for a few moments, staring at the trash can. He was determined not to cry. He tried to choke back sobs.

"That's enough, Billy, come here." Kyle patted his lap.

Will walked over and climbed onto his father's knee. Kyle placed his hand on Will's shoulder and guided his body to rest against his chest. Will leaned into him, sighing and sniffling.

"You're a good boy, Billy. But you aren't a baby. Do you understand that?" Kyle asked.

Will nodded, "Yes, Sir."

"It's just a stupid toy." Kyle said, "How old are you?"

"Seven." Will mumbled.

"That's right. You're a big boy now. It's time to act like one. No more toys, okay?"

Will nodded, "Okay, Dad."

"What are you going to do?" Kyle asked.

"Stop crying." Will said, sitting up, more tears streaming down his face, he tried to wipe them away.

Kyle ruffled Will's hair, "Good boy. Go get cleaned up and we can play chess."

Will nodded, and jumped down from his father's lap. He wiped away the last of his tears and headed to the bathroom. He scrubbed at his eyes again, they were red and puffy, his cheeks were splotchy and pink.

He tried his best to hide any evidence that he had cried. His cheeks were still pink and his eyes a little bit red, but he looked better.

Will dried his eyes one last time before walking back into the living room. Kyle had set up the board.

"Sit down." Kyle said, gesturing to the chair.

Will sat down and they began to play.

Will didn't win. He never did. He wasn't very good at chess. Sometimes his neighbor's oldest daughter -a grown up with a little girl of her own a few years younger than Will- would let him win when she was out to visit. Will doesn't play with her anymore when she comes to town.

Kyle would say that letting kids win just taught them to be spoiled. Will didn't want to be spoiled.But he kept playing, even though he usually lost. Because he wanted to make his dad proud. He wanted to show his dad that he could learn, even if he wasn't the best.

Kyle didn't seem impressed when he placed his piece and proudly announced, "Check."

Kyle didn't smile, and he didn't say a word. In a few moves he had Will checkmated. Will didn't cry. He silently set up his pieces and waited for Kyle to do the same.

***

When Will turned eight his neighbors gave him a stuffed toy, feeling bad that he had lost his favorite puppy. He couldn't remember what it had been, maybe it too had been a puppy. Will had told them thank you, because that was the polite thing to do, then he informed them that he was too big for stuffed animals.

They didn't gift him another stuffed animal after that. No one did. Not until he was nineteen years old.

It was his second year at academy, and a few days prior his roommate had teased Will for pouting and whining like a child. It wasn't the first time, but this day he remembered because that night they tossed him a teddy bear.

"Really?" Will had asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? Too big for a teddy bear?" They teased and Will threw the bear at them.

"Shut up." Will chuckling softly.

"If you don't want it, then you don't have to keep it." They said, passing the toy back into Will's hands.

Will stared at the furry little creature. He ran his fingers through its soft fur, feeling a sense of nostalgia.

"Thanks." Will smiled.

He left the bear out of his bedside table that night. When his roommate had fallen asleep, Will had quietly picked the bear up. He brought it to his chest, and for the first time in a long time, he felt like a child again. He felt safe and warm.