01 | sike, it's not cancer

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01 | Jason

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01 | Jason

The last time I can remember my life being normal was when I was seventeen and about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend in the back of his car.

It was glamorous, I guess. Although, now that I really think about it, uncomfortable car sex isn't with some girl I can't remember the name of anymore wasn't exactly the best situation to be in. I'm saying that now, not because I feel bad but because I do feel a little bad. For the girl. And me.

It was basically as normal as it can get for awkward teenagers wanting a quick and easy experience. But even so, it didn't last too long because right before I could even properly kiss her, I puked.

I, Jason Kang, puked all over her boobs like the great mood setter I am.

It was embarrassing— no, scratch that, it was basically life-scarring enough that I swear that I am forever incapable of meeting any girl's eye for the rest of my life. But when I mean that memory is the last normal moment ever in my life, it actually is.

I didn't puke all over her because of the insane amount of Taco Bell and Baja Blast we ate hours. Sadly, it wasn't as simple as causing a chain reaction in my bowels. The next day when I went to the doctor with my aunt, I wasn't diagnosed with a stomach bug.

I was diagnosed with cancer.

More specifically, there was a tumor in some weird place, and it just chose to make me sick right then and there. I got an earful from my aunt for not telling her sooner, but even I didn't realize my inner parts are a breeding ground for some nasty, cancerous mass to make its home and kinda kill me in the process.

How could I know? My aunt didn't want to argue with me, and I think I didn't look like I was capable of arguing, so she dropped the topic.

At first, it wasn't a problem for me. Or, well, I didn't think it was because even though cancer was pretty hellish, I didn't expect it to have the power to really change my entire life.

Most people when they get cancer, they freak out. Naturally some will cry too, while others vow to explore the world until their last, dying breath, but when I got the news, I didn't really know how to feel.

I consider myself to be a pretty average guy. I was on the basketball team, but I wasn't good enough to really be on the starting lineup. My grades were subpar with the effort I put into the bullshit system that was school. But that was to be expected. School was hard, only because I swore I was wired to work against it.

You can say my friends were also a bit on the delinquent side, but even so, they weren't anything special. I don't think there is any sort of unique quality to individuals who emjoy binge drinking, cotton candy vape juice, and street racing on empty backroads.

I was used to not being special or extraordinary, or something worth looking at by some overly ambitious girl and thinking, wow, you're something I want to figure out. I went to a school where everyone was good at something. Everyone around me had something about them that just stood out.

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