The next day ABBA were once again in the studio. That day they were recording Does Your Mother Know after they had listened to Michaels finished mix of I Have A Dream.
They already knew the lyrics because it was one of the songs they sang in Switzerland but Benny and Björn wanted again change something.
"I'm tired of you and your thousand arrangements! It was good the way it was when we sang it in Switzerland! All the critics wer good, everybody was liking the song. I don't understand why we need so long to finish a damn album. We could do much better things. If you forgot, you have two small children at home!"
"Anna, please not here.", tried Björn to calm Agnetha down.
"Yes, here! Otherwise you would find an excuse!", she shouted at him.
"Agnetha, please, listen to Björn. I thought your arguments would stop when you divorce!", tried now also Benny to calm Agnetha down.
"It's all my fault isn't it? If I'm so unimportant and just making trouble I'm not needed her!", shouted Agnetha back. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.
"Nobody said it was your fault. You just..." Björn tried to explain.
"I'm just?! Keep going. Tell me. What have I all done wrong? I'm sorry that I wanted children! I'm sorry that I wanted to be a good mother to them! I'm sorry that I don't think money and fame is more important than family! I'm sorry I am ruining your live. But when I am just making problems, just let me leave you and let me live in peace." Agnetha was screaming in anger and sadness at Björn while she cried. "I thought we could do something together. We could make music that makes people happy, but have you ever listened to it? I'm so depressed that whatever I sing sounds like a depressed, untalented woman. That's what I am!"
Agnetha run out of the recording room straight into Frida who was coming back from the toilet. "What have you done to her?" She asked straight away.
"Why, me?" Björn knew he had acted wrong but was too proud to admit it.
"Why you?" Frida imitated his tone. "Because it's clear that you are the reason why Aggie run out of the studio crying!"
"She was exaggerating." Björn tried to defend himself.
"No, she wasn't! You were just to proud to admit that you made mistakes! Now excuse me please because I will follow you and sort out what you did wrong, again!" With that being said left Frida, leaving a confused Björn behind.
After a few minutes of searching found Frida Agnetha sitting on a bench, hugging herself and crying. Her body was shaking just like she was freezing, but she wasn't, she was crying deep from her heart.
"Hey Chiquitita, can I sit with you?" Frida asked approaching.
"Don't call me Chiquitita. I'm not a little girl." Agnetha snapped at Frida. "Sorry." Agnetha excused herself just a second later. She looked abashed down.
"It's fine. Can you tell me what is going on inside of you? I want to help you but to be able do that, I have to understand you first." Frida sat down next to her and put her arm around Agnetha's shoulders.
"I don't really know. I do things I don't know why. Sometimes I just scream at people out of no reason. On some days I'm a like a bomb that is just about to explode and scream at people just because they say something I don't like a hundred percent. I'm just feeling so down on other days. Sometimes it is so bad that I need a hour or more to get out of bed. I'm just so unmotivated. I feel like nobody can understand me. They always say they can but nobody understands it. They just tell me to calm down when I'm angry. They just don't understand me. I don't even do myself. It' often too much. Thing's that were easy before feel so complicated." Agnetha answered hesitantly.
"I'm tired. Not only physically but only mentally. I'm tired of this life. I just can't take it anymore. I have no idea what to do. I barely sleep. I barely eat. I know it's bad for me but I just can't sleep. There was only one night without a nightmare since I left Björn. that was the night I slept in your and Benny's room in Leysin. I have no idea what to do. The only thing that keeps me going are Linda and Christian. I guess I don't deserve them."
After Agnetha had finished her speech was the only thing Frida did take Agnetha in her arms. Sometimes gestures told more that a thousand words could. Sometimes gestures are better than any words. Just a hug, no words, Frida knew that it was the best in that moment. She held Agnetha until that started to free herself. She tried her tears. "Thank you storasyster."
"You're welcome. Do you want to talk about it?"
Agnetha answered with a dismissive shake of her head.
"That's fine. When you feel like talking just call me."
Agnetha and Frida went back to the studio and ABBA continued the recording of Does Your Mother Know without any problems. None of them talked about what had happened earlier that day.
YOU ARE READING
I Wonder
FanfictionAgnetha just separated from Björn and questions her whole decisions with ABBA and her children. She begins to regret many things in her past. But which decisions were really bad or good? And how will she move on?
