More Than a Hotline Fling

-36-

My internal conversation was cut off by my phone buzzing.

Jason: If you're still here, come meet my daughter.

Given that message, I took a page from June's kindness book. Twenty minutes later, my palms were sweaty, and my heart pounded. Jason and Celia sat in her bed, him holding a small bundle of white blankets. Sweat soaked Celia's blonde hair to the sides of her face and her eyes drooped.

The pure happiness radiating from both made my throat squeeze in on itself.

"Ahem." I coughed. With a rustling sound, I lifted the hot sandwich I bought for Jason.

"Damian..." Celia cooed, her eyes rounding at the flowers and stuffed dog I choked with my other elbow. "That's so sweet."

My feet weighed down with lead at each step. A soft coo from Jason's arms stopped me and thrummed my pulse in my ears. His fingers parted the blankets and revealed a tiny, red, squished face.

"Damian, this is Penelope," Celia offered. "Penelope Edith Rivera."

"Edith." My eyebrows raised at my aunt's name, Jason's mom. "That's an old lady's name."

Celia huffed. "I like it."

"Yeah, Mom's name." Jason leaned over and lurched my stomach when he kissed her on the lips, then rested his forehead on hers. "Celia did all the work, so I let her pick."

"Penelope is my mom's name," Celia whispered, shifting her eyes between me and Jason. "Do you want to hold her?"

My stomach lurched up into my throat. Trembles shook my hands, making me drop their contents on their bed. "Nope."

"It's alright. We'd love you to meet her." A cool sensation trickled over my cheeks, my blood draining out. I swallowed and shook my head so fast, the room blurred.

"Nope." My palms flashed up and I backed up as Jason approached.

A grin curled up his lips as the back of my knees hit a chair that was placed in my previous corner. Weak, I flopped down. He draped a blanket over my shoulder, then passed a warm, lightweight bundle into my arms.

Oh, shit. Shit! Don't break it, Damian.

"Jason," I hissed through my teeth. "Take it back."

"Nope." He snapped a few camera pictures, probably because I held his daughter like an explosive device. She was so small, so dainty, she fit in between my wrist and elbow. I curled her into my chest and cradled my arms around her.

Her eyes blinked open, a steely gray blue. "Hey," I whispered. "You gave your mom one shitstorm of an arrival, know that?"

"Damian! You can't swear at an infant!" Celia's chirped protests offered me false hope that one of them would take the baby back.

"I don't think she understands quite yet." Jason snapped another picture, for future blackmail.

Celia pouted. "Probably best to get into good habits now."

Hazed over, the baby's eyes peered up at me before she yawned and rolled them closed. I released a loud, shaky exhale. My heart pounded where her head rested, and my brain couldn't quite wrap itself around this mindfuck.

"Jason." Celia gestured him over, then whispered in his ear. He nodded, scooped the baby out of my arms, and offered the exit ticket I was looking for. "Celia needs to uhh, feed her."

My poor stomach knotted itself at that mental image. Natural, yes, but I'd seen enough of Celia and blurted, "Definitely don't want to see that."

"I'll walk you out." Jason's hand cupped my shoulder as we exited the room, where his other hand extended. "Thanks, Damian."

"I'm glad you made it," I confessed in a low, subdued voice and shook his hand.

While I wanted to be happy for Jason, my current situation with June left no room for happiness in my heart. It was fractured, cracked, shattered. My stomach was hollowed, concave from lack of eating.

Jason stepped into the elevator with me, where his hand clapped on my shoulder. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Shouldn't you be..." I left the obvious question lingering. My thumb jerked over my shoulder at the hospital wing.

"She's with the lactation consultant. And this won't take long." He led me out the front of the hospital, into the night street. A few open business' lights shone in between the streetlamps.

"Jason..." I frowned when he steered me straight to a jewelry store.

A bell chimed when we entered. As if Jason had the place memorized, he pushed me right up to a glass case of glittering diamond rings.

"Jason?" My eyes shifted back and forth. "What the fuck -"

"Buy her one."

Stepping back, I faltered at the conviction in his voice. "What!?"

"Buy one for June," he offered in a simple, matter-of-fact voice.

In a tight voice, I choked out, "Wuh-why?"

"So that you can put it on her finger when you find her again." His determined gaze fixed on mine. "And give yourself something to hold onto before you can."

I couldn't... He's insane.

My hands raked through my greasy hair, coating the pads of my fingers with a slight film. I blinked down at the case, then up at Jason's unchanged expression. He was so confident, so sure, while my heart was beating out of my chest. Light pulses beat on both sides of my neck. The room tightened around me, and air burned in my lungs.

No, I can't... Can I?

An older man stepped out of the back area, wearing a gray vest, black pants, and a warm smile. "Can I help you, gentlemen?"

"No... No, I..." my voice died on my tongue. Thickness coated my throat, drying it and choking with one of the handkerchiefs I carried in my pockets. I stuffed my hand into my coat and brushed my fingers over the soft, thin material.

"You can," Jason urged with a pat on my shoulder.

My knees cracked as I crouched down and palmed the cool glass. I was a kid in a candy store inspecting the lot. Right when hesitation drew me up to stand, I spotted the perfect option.

"That one."