Is it worth it?

1

Malikai;

Malikai Guimarães never liked school.

Nothing ever appealed to him. Therefore, he never understood those who tried,

So much effort...for what? Do they seriously think they're going to achieve their dreams?

Dreams are so unfathomably improbable that it seems stupid to even attempt to grasp them.

Change has always been a relieving thing for him. It's been his way to escape and differentiate himself from others, yet he never seems to do just that.

He was raised under a roof with a family that never communicated with eachother, as a result, He doesn't know the warmth of being close to another person

An object even,

Although the books that students generally study discuss affection and 'love' , He's not sure if he's ever going to experience that and honestly? He believes he never will

'They all tell me to live, but all I can manage to do is survive, is that enough?'

Survival is not a skill that can be taught. It's simply learned.

It comes in multiple forms. Some bother their heads with studies, some with sex, money, and drugs.

Malikai?

Well, he does all of them.

He takes another long drag of his cigarette.

'It seems to me that nobody cares enough to stop my habits. Hell, neither do I.'

'Survival is an individual lesson , so who cares about the way I cope?' He mutters to himself, eyes rolling when he realises no one is listening.

'As long as I stay in school and remain high in my classes, nobody bothers me about anything, if no one gives a fuck why should I? Is it fair for only me to care?'

When Malikai was younger, he was raised by two caring parental figures, it soon changed when they moved here.

It appears as the only care they ever gave was about money and finance in the end.

That's what the world is all about though, no? Money, economy, finance. Everything that humans are designed to care about is on paper, right?

What's the point in living in this world if people like me don't have to fight for their place in it?

And, what's wrong with fighting for it anyway? It seems as if everyone benefits anyway,

The curly haired boy looks at the sky with closed eyes, inhaling and exhaling smoke that really isn't healthy for anyone.

'Even if they only benefit slightly, benefiting is almost always positive, is it not? , but don't trust me on that, I may be tricking you... after all, I'm benefited beyond everyone else.'

...

That's what privileged shits say, right?

Am I even any different?

However, as much as he claims to dislike school, there's one or two things that still interested him to keep going... or maybe just one.

There's this certain individual, specifically a girl who despises his guts ever since the start of school.

'Why?' Malikai gave up asking himself that question.

All he's aware of is that it's fun to tease her. She's always wanted to be one of the higher kids, though she's already so intelligent. Why crave more?

'I've tried to communicate about how it's a waste of time to her, and she doesn't seem to take my advice. I'll allow her to do what she wants, though, but I'll just bother her throughout it, '

He looks down once more to light another cigarette while listening to his parents' screams inside the house.

'Whenever I tease her, I get reactions from myself that even I don't expect,'

But that's not really important to him, so fuck knows what those feelings are

Maybe they're hatred? Boredom?

'Shit who am I fooling, I couldn't care less, its fun.'

(Only chapter with 1st person!)
621 words
26/11/22