Paradox

Chapter 32: Bring Me Back To Life

"All those escaped souls that went on a killing spree -- apparently in my honor; did you have something to do with those as well?" Lucifer snarled at his mother.

"No, that was Asmo acting on my behalf without my knowledge. I confess all I wanted at first was revenge and sometimes I still feel like it's there bubbling in me just under my skin but rationally I put it aside I wanted family more."

Lucifer looked at his brother. "She killed the child down by the river because she was pissed at me."

Amenadiel looked sorrowfully at his mother. "How could you do what you did to Lucifer?"

She stepped closer - the madness has temporarily gone. She caught Lucifer off guard as she cupped his cheek.

Chloe's breath caught in her throat -- she had never seen Lucifer look so vulnerable. It was almost like he was transfixed for a moment.

Lilith shook her head. "I don't know. I can't take it back or change it. Sometimes the rage is just too consuming. I never meant to hurt you. You won't believe this but I love you, both of you. I drugged you so heavily you were never supposed to know. I wanted your father to suffer - never you. I had no idea he would do what he did and cast you out and make you rule hell for all eternity."

Lucifer snapped out of the moment and stumbled as he violently pulled out of her grasp.

She laughed suddenly. "I know this can't end well. You are going to send me back to hell now aren't you, son? You wanted to before but something held you back. I hope that something was lingering memories of what our life was before I destroyed it. The three of us were a family and we had some wonderful times. Believe it or not, I cherish those."

Amenadiel nodded. "We had some memorable times; I wish they could have gone on."

She smiled warmly. "I do too. You are my sons, you are my family and no matter what you think of me, I am your mother and underneath all of this madness you are the two beings I care about most." She looked at Chloe. "Chloe, you were the first human I met that I truly liked and you have a wonderful daughter -- I only took her to protect her as you and Trixie were next on Asmo's list to harm to torture Lucifer. Maze, when I put you in charge of protecting my son I couldn't have picked a better demon. Chloe and Maze I find peace in the fact that you will take care of my boys."

She closed her eyes and lifted her hands in prayer.

Amenadiel and Lucifer looked at each other puzzled.

Tears were in her eyes when she opened them again as she dropped her hands. "Lucifer, I want to spare you the burden of sending me back to hell, I've caused you enough pain. I do not want to return to hell and the possibility would always exist that I could escape again. I have asked your father to end my existence. He is the only one who can extinguish me permanently." She suddenly stumbled as tears streamed down her face. She placed a kiss on both her hand and blew it to each of them as she fell to her knees. Amenadiel raced over catching her before she hit the ground. His anguished cry of "mom" echoed through the clearing as her body went limp. Maze ran over to him.

Lucifer swallowed heavily, he felt numb. The whole scene was surreal. She was gone, truly gone. He had wanted her gone once he found out the truth but ... he inhaled sharply. He realized the detective was tugging at his arm.

"You should say goodbye," she advised him softly.

"No! I'm glad she's gone. I was done with her a long time ago," he responded almost hysterically as he pulled away from her.

Chloe didn't believe him. She knew him well enough to know his walls were up, lined with barbed wire and explosives. It was pointless right now to try and crack them.