Love Roulette

27

Twenty-Seven
GUNNER

Delilah and I stand in silence on the balcony, and I can feel the anxiety start to creep it's way towards me and at quick speed. I run my hands down my face and take a seat just where Mason was. Delilah's pretty eyes follow every move and the sad smile on her face just makes me feel even more anxious.

There's no running from this now.

"Gunner, talk to me," Delilah whispers, taking a seat on my lap and I welcome the warmth from her, wrapping my toned arms around her waist.

"Back home in Australia, I didn't have any friends. Well apart from my sister." My heart cracks at the mention of Gabriella.

"You have a sister?" Delilah smiles, curling her arms around me.

"Not anymore." My voice cracks and my eyes sting. "She took her own life when I was eighteen. She was only sixteen."

I don't even attempt to stop the tears from falling and Delilah doesn't hesitate to wipe them with the sleeve of her dress.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. My arms only tightened around her.

"We told each other everything... Well, I thought we did. Anyway, we had a neighbour, he was the same age as me and had just moved in with his family. His name was Jordan. We didn't talk much but every time we were out front at the same time he would stare at me and then smile. I never thought much of it, but his smile started to become contagious."

"Like Mason's." Delilah smiles gently and I chuckle nodding my head.

"Just like his, baby." I wink, reaching up to brush my thumb along her soft cheek before continuing. "I hate to admit it to you, but I slept around a lot, especially after Gabriella died. But before she did, she would always mention Jordan, and I remember having this weird feeling in my stomach every time she did. I didn't know they had become friends while I stayed hidden in my bedroom."

If I could go back in time, I would have saved my sister, but I also would have tried to save myself.

"When she died, he would keep coming over to my house with gifts, trying to cheer me up. We eventually became friends, but fuck, every time he looked at me I'd get these stupid fucking butterflies and I was so confused. My attraction to girls never stopped, I kept sleeping around but the feelings I'd get for them were the same ones I'd get for Jordan." I rasp.

"There was this park not far from where we lived, we went there a lot together. Had our own little spot and everything." I smile at the memory. "There was already some tension between us. We were sitting in our spot and he told me he liked me. That was the day I shared my first kiss with a guy and it was the happiest I had been since I lost my sister."

I search Delilah's face, trying to get a reading of what she's feeling. There's no judgement on her face, just a warm tender smile as she listens.

"What happened between you two?" I chuckle at her question.

"My confusion got in the way of everything. One day at school this new girl arrived and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her name was Bailey. I'm pretty sure Jordan realised over time that I liked both of them. Over the years of knowing Jordan he meant so much to me, I was scared to lose him. But I didn't want to lose Bailey either." I clear my throat and take a deep breath. "He made me choose between him and her."