𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

06 ♰ august

Their eyes look the same: hazel. Their heights are towering mine and Ate Claire's 5'8. Wil is the funny type who seems like to curse a lot. Theo is the quiet one. Sam and Rajnish are more like in between. Theo and Sam have tan skin, while Wil and Rajnish are pale.

"You met them." Ate Claire said as we drive back home.

I nodded. "Magkakakilala pala kayo?" Tanong ko.

Ate Claire hummed. "Same label company lang naman kami. Sometimes, I help them write lyrics and produce music, nothing else."

But the way Rajnish look at Ate Claire, it looks like something else. "Something is going on between you and the lead guitarist." I blurted out.

Natawa si Ate Claire. "Aah, don't worry. Magkaibigan lang talaga kami ni Raj."

I don't like how the lead guitarist put his veiny hands on Ate Claire's waist. I know I don't have any business when it comes to her love life but I'm not acquainted of some guys talking to Ate Claire or me. I don't feel good when it comes to Raj.

"Nothing intimate happened?" I wonder, stomach rolling in the pit.

Ate Claire think. "Uhh, we just kissed."

"Just kissed?" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "When? How? Are you drunk that time?"

Natatawa na talaga si Ate Claire at halos mapreno ang sasakyan. "It's their victory party, we both drunk and we just kissed, nothing else."

Natahimik ako at tiningnan lamang siya. I know Ate Claire can handle herself but I can't help but to be worried. Too many what if's cross my mind. Rajnish is not a type of a guy who prefers to have a date and serious relationship. Mukhang focus siya sa career niyang bilang isang gitarista at ayokong malaman na sa isang relasyon silang dalawa dahil wala silang hahantungan sa ganoon.

Hala. I mentally slap myself for thinking that way.

Ate Claire parks the car and we both cover it with tarpaulin. Hawak-hawak ni Ate Claire ang kamay ko nang lakarin namin ang mahabang lupain na puro puno sa likod ng aming bahay. Dinaanan namin ang green house, ang fountain na ipapaayos ni mom this week at pumasok na kami sa loob gamit ang kitchen door.

Ate Claire led me to my room. "Mag half bath ka para mawala ang amoy ng club sa 'yo." She crunched her nose as she sniffs my hair. "I'm sorry again, Jace."

"Okay lang." Tipid akong ngumiti. "At ayoko nang bumalik doon."

"Okay." Ate Claire stood in front of me. Parang may gusto siyang gawin pero pinalabas ko na siya para makatulog ako ng maayos. "Good night."

I took a warm bath. Huminga ako ng malalim nang maalala na naman ang nangyari sa club. Kahit hanggang ngayon ay parang nararamdaman ko parin ang pagtibok ng puso ko na sinasabayan ang drums. I can still hear their screams and curses. I can still visualize how their body brush against each other, how their lips lock and how they snake their arms around Rajnish's waist.

Nang matapos na ako sa pagligo at nag-blower na ako ng buhok. I close the bathroom door just to make sure that the sound won't reach mom. This is my first time sneaking out and probably the last.

After drying my hair, I change into my silk pajamas and lay on my bed. Hindi kaagad ako nakatulog dahil hindi mawala-wala sa isip ko ang nangyari kanina. I cover my head with a pillow, counting backwards but still my eyes are open and I am unable to close them without furrowing my eyebrows as I try to sleep.

My head ache so I massage them for a second before relaxing myself. I heave a several deep sigh, trashing the memories earlier and replaced them by a void. And before I know it, my consciousness drifted to sleep.

-

I woke up the next morning with my mom continuously banging my door. I screwed so bad because I forgot that I have a small play on the Hotel De Atlas today. Mom prepares me a bath pero kasama na roon ang pangangaral niya. My mom is my favorite rapper around the world.

"What if ma-late ka?" Tanong niya, and boy, I was about to answer when she continues her rumblings that I tuned out as I change into my comfortable clothes. "Hindi ka nagigising ng late, August."

I know, mom. I know.

My mom pushes me to wear a flared cotton midi dress. She wanted me to pair them with heels but I decided to stick with my white adidas shoes. I hate heels. Yeah. Shocker. I will never understand how they stood still when they are in heels while I will never end the day without tripping on the air.

Mom brush my hair as I put small volume of lip gloss in my lips. "French braid or bun?" She asks.

"Hayaan mong nakalugay, mom. I don't feel designing my hair today." Mom grants my request and continue brushing my hair.

Once I'm done with myself, mom ushered me to go out already and wait in the car. Babalik pa siya sa kwarto niya para kunin ang bag niya. I open the door and breathe the air. Mom is really obsessed in gardens. She likes to keep the bush in both sides of our pavement perfectly well-trimmed. The trees green and flowers blooming.

Sa dulo ng pavement ay ang malapad na field. It green and healthy, healthier than me. Then puno, puno, puno at ang gate namin. Naghintay ako kay mom sa sasakyan gaya ng sinabi niya, Our security guard is standing next to the car and tip his head to greet me.

"Morning." I smiled before entering the passenger seat. Mom will drive me today before going to our grandparents how.

Ate Claire for sure left already to practice. Magkikita na naman sila ng banda. The thought of her and Rajnish doesn't sit right to me. Even though they can be together whenever they want, my brain tells me that they won't be good together. I shiver run through me and chicken skin pop on my skin. I lick my lips and divert my mind on other matters.

Moments later, mom drive me to Hotel De Atlas. Kaibigan ni mom ang may-ari nito at kailangan nila ng entertainment every Friday to Sunday, and mom didn't miss a beat to introduce me and let me play the piano in front of the guest.

"Call me if you're done, honey." Mom kisses my cheeks before driving away.

Sir Sebastian, the hotel's security guard open the door for me with a smile. "Your regular guests are waiting for you, Miss."

I smile before entering and went to my place. Sa gitna ng lobby kasama ang mga guests na pumupunta rito para magbakasyon at ang mga pumupunta rito para makita akong gamitin ang piano. I greeted the familiar faces of people sitting on the couches and stalls, drinking their juice, wine and hot chocolates.

"Yey, August is back!" Ma'am Luna behind the counter shout to catch everyone's attention.

I play the piano, getting everyone's attention. As I push the keys and drift to the sound, I didn't expect to catch their attention, his attention. Rajnish watches me with surprise. I met his eyes. We met again. And I can't help but to feel my kidneys twist in an uncertain way.