Innocent (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 29

{WARNING:
This chapter includes suicide/self-harming so if u get triggered by that I suggest you don't read this part :) }

Confusion struck me as I finished reading the letter.

Who the hell was Danny?

What happened to her Dad?

"I'm just gonna read one more letter..." I told myself.

Friday, November 1st, 2012

Dad,

Mom thinks Danny is a "bad influence" on me. I say that's bullshit. He's there for me, and he always was. I trust him with everything I have. I would do anything for him, and I'm sure he thinks the same for me.
Just because he's got a couple tattoos and piercings, that doesn't mean he's bad.
If he was a bad influence, I would have tattoos and piercings too, and I don't.
Mom doesn't even know what else he does, and I'm pretty glad about that. I hope she doesn't find out. If she does then she's gonna be a judgmental bitch about it, and she's gonna try to make me break up with him.
And she should know that I will never leave him, so good luck with that mom.
~Kathryn

I laughed to myself as I read the last line.
"So good luck with that mom."
She sounded like a rebellious teenager.
Maybe she was.

I couldn't help but to wonder... was I in this book?

*KATHRYN'S POV*

Why does he always find his way into my mind?!

It's been two years, and he still fucks things up for me, even though I haven't spoken to him at all since then.

I threw my purse at my mirror, causing it to fall down and shatter.

I didn't care that it had broken, I had too much on my mind to care the slightest about that.

Tears escaped my eyes, and ran down my cheeks.

"When will I escape from this?" I whispered to myself.

My breathing became faster as my thoughts raced.

Will it ever get better?

Will he ever leave my mind?

Is it really worth it?!

All these questions nagged my mind as I brought my knees to my chest.

This kind of thing hadn't happened in a while since I had found Louis.

I tried to calm myself down, I tried to steady my breathing, but it was no use.

I wanted to.

I wanted to get my blades back out.

But I had been clean for so long now...

I shook my head, as my salty tears continued to flow.

I stood up and walked to my desk, opening one of the small drawers.

I pulled out a little black jewelry box.
I opened it and read the familiar words on the inside,

"I love you, it's as simple as that.
-Danny
1-12-13"

"Why do I still have this box..." I wondered.

I pulled out a shiny silver blade.
A very familiar one in my eyes.
I had gotten it from a pencil sharpener when I was 15.
I never thought I would actually use it back then, but here I am.

.
.
.

I know what suicide is.
You don't want to die, it's almost like you need to.
You don't have anything to hold on to... and even if you do you're too crazy to realize what you'd be missing out on.
Nothing exists anymore.
You've been living in a bubble for so long, and the blade to your skin is the thing that can pop it and release you.

But even after, you can't stop, and you don't want to.
You just want to keep slitting your wrists until you stop breathing.

Why?

Because you deserve it.
Because you need it.

And that's exactly what I needed.

My last image was of my bloody wrist. New, open, bloody wounds that I created.

Then my vision began to blur, and everything faded to black.

*LOUIS' POV*

I panicked as I read the line over again.

'Mom said you killed yourself because you were crazy.

Can I be crazy too?'

Was she suicidal?!

I immediately had a terrible feeling.

She seemed quite upset when she left,
Was she okay?!

I grabbed my phone, and my car keys and I immediately left my flat.

Even if she was ok, I wanted to talk to her about all of this.

My heart raced as I parked at her house.
I glanced at her window, seeing it as lifeless as it always was.

I attempted to open the door, but it was locked.
I knocked repeatedly, as I was getting quite impatient.

A girl I didn't recall the name of opened the door.

"Louis? What are you doing here?" Sarah questioned from the living room.
I slipped past the girl at the door as I heard Sarah yell, "You can't just barge in our house! What the hell are you doing?!"

I ran up both sets of stairs, and eventually neared Kathryn's bedroom.

I put my hand on the doorknob, hesitating if I should open the door or not.

I removed it, and knocked on her door loudly.

"Kathryn? Are you in there? It's Louis, I wanted to see if you were okay..." I began.

"Get out. Why are you here?" I heard Sarah say behind me.

"I don't have time for this!" I yelled, turning around.

I saw Jessica standing with them. She looked at me with confusion, sadness, and disappointment.
I didn't care.
I ignored her and the rest of them, and opened the door.

I couldn't believe the sight I was actually looking at.
My knees became weak, and tears began to fill my eyes.

"C-call 999." I yelled at them.
I turned around and saw all their shocked expressions.
Each of them were speechless as they looked at her.
"Call 999!" I repeated.
One of them got out their phone, and quickly called the number.
"Oh my god..." I whispered, examining her bloody wrists.
"Sarah, could you please get me a towel so I can try to slow down the bleeding?" I asked her.

She nodded, and scrambled out the door to get me what I needed.

"Why would she do this to herself..." I whispered, grabbing a hold of her hand.

{ HEYY so this is what I had planned originally for this story. The story cover used to show a self harming picture thing at one point so. I hope none of u stop reading this cuz of this chapter.
I s2g this isn't how the whole story is gonna go ok ily if u read this ok bye }

{and yeah I added a photo I thought it looked nice ok bye}