Love is a choice (Benedict Bridgerton)

12. All Alone

"If only my parents could've seen this. We could've lived a happy life here."

It hurts to know that no matter how hard I work, nothing can bring back the family I lost.

"I bet they'd be proud of you." Benedict silently responds.

I feel his eyes burning on me, or perhaps it's just the heat of the fireplace, but I will not look.

I mustn't.

Knowing myself, I would probably struggle fighting the hold Benedict Bridgerton has on me. It seems that the two of us can not be alone together without undressing each other with our eyes.

"I erm– I will prepare the guest bedroom for you just in case the storm won't pass before the night draws near." I awkwardly announce, standing up before leaving him in the living room.

•

As fearfully expected, it is night and the storm remained and here I am finishing the bed of the guest room.

By the doorframe, stands Benedict Bridgerton in only a white night shirt and his brown pants silently knocking on the door.

"Oh erm– There are some extra blankets in the closet, in case it gets cold at night." I quietly say.

Benedict smiles.

"Thank you." He responds as he walks in.

We stay absolutely silent for a moment as we listen to the storm lashing out its rage upon the world outside.

"If there is anything you need, I will be downstair–"

"Nancy," He calls gently grabbing my arm to pull me back in front of him.

There are only two candles lit in this room, showing me some sort of glisten in Benedict's eyes. It is giving me the feeling that we're back in one of Mr. Granville's bedrooms. Only difference is there is no one else but us in the house.

"Benedict, we can't..." I whisper.

"Why?"

"If anyone finds out about this,– us– you and your family will forever be ruined."

"And what if they don't? After all, we are the only two people here." Benedict whispers with his lips pressed against my ear as he caresses my arm, leaving shivers down my body.

I close my eyes and let out a deep breath of satisfaction as Benedict brushes his bottom lip from my ear to my cheek.

I slide my hands up his shirt around his neck and slowly pull him closer, allowing him to bring his lips to my neck, nearly touching. "Do you have any idea... how much I want you right now?" He whispers as he leans back to see my face clearly.

I wonder if he knows that at this very moment, we share the same thought.

"There are so many things I could do to you, Nancy Griffiths." Benedict mutters seductively.

Part of me tells me to stop him, but the thought that there is no one but us in this house overpowers the most sensible choice.

"Then show me." I respond challenging.

Without letting another second pass, Benedict presses his lips against mine, followed by a long groan.

His hands slide down my waist as he pulls me closer. Sensation takes over my mind as I impatiently and hastily unbutton his clothes.

Finally, I push a shirtless Benedict onto the bed and take off my dress in front of him, making him watch me with absolute lust as he takes off his pants.

As my dress slides down my body, I immediately get on top of Benedict. He brings his face against my breasts and plants many kisses as he rubs my back, causing me to slightly moan.

"Let me feel you." He says.

I let out an amused shriek as Benedict uses his strength to switch positions by laying me with my back against the mattress as he gets on top of me.

We stay quiet for a moment and stare into each other's eyes as his hand slides down my body. I gasp as I suddenly feel it moving in a slow pace. "Is this okay?" He asks, but I do not answer for I feel completely enthralled with a sensational feeling.

I close my eyes and let out little groans of satisfaction as my body moves to the rhythm of Benedict's hands.

"Benedict!" I scream as the pace speeds up, but before I feel the sensation coming, Benedict moves away his hand.

Must I do everything?

Frustrated, I place my hand on his shoulder and push him down to the bed to get on top of him. "My turn." I grin, causing him to smile.

•

We lie on the bed silently after all that occurred between us in this room only a few minutes ago. With my head resting on his chest, I close my eyes and match the tempo of my breathing with his.

"No people, only the two of us in a cozy home while it's raining outside... I wish we could stay like this forever." Benedict says, staring at the ceiling.

"Well we still have dreams to achieve." I chuckle before getting up.

Benedict smiles as he watches me, putting on my clothes. "You will become a painter and I a world-traveling pianist."

"Right. Those dreams." Benedict mocks as if it won't be possible to reach them.

I scowl. "That was quite the pessimism."

Benedict sits up straight and sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I am certain yours will happen, but I am not sure I will ever achieve mine."

From the very beginning I started to be around Benedict, I've noticed the way he prefers putting himself down when it comes to his artistic pursuits.

I frown and sit down on the edge of the bed as he sits up to face me, tugging a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Why do you always underestimate your talents?" I ask concerned.

Benedict shrugs. "Because I do not think I am good enough."

I shake my head. "Or perhaps you do it so that no one else can disappoint you first."

The expression on Benedict's face changes as if I told the truth right in his face which I evidently did.

Benedict cups my right cheek in his hand and gently pulls me towards him, before kissing me ever so tenderly.