Rags To Royals (Royal #1: Book 1) | ✔

51

"No, my love, no," he murmurs, holding me tightly in his arms. I'm almost sitting on his lap at this point, and while there have been a few instances when I was insecure about my weight, this is not one of them. I don't even care if he's comfortable, I just need to hear him breath. "I'm fine, Tara, look-" he tries to pull away to prove his point but I don't let him. My arms are determined to latch onto him as long as time allows. "Tara, I'm sorry, please you're breaking my heart, sweetheart." He kisses the top of my head.

I soak his white shirt with my tears, my legs tucked behind as I sit between his legs, with him resting his back against the railing. He holds me in his arms because I don't let go of him. I can't. I never got to hug my mother in her last moments. She was in the surgery room when I lost her. Then she never woke up, and her body always felt cold.

What if Yuvraaj never came to me with the tiffin box?

What if Rohit insisted I stay in his office and I had agreed?

What if I was late?

What if I had lost him?

I just got him. I can't lose him so soon. I can't lose him ever.

My phone begins to vibrate in my front pocket. I ignore it. But he doesn't. He takes it out and answers on my behalf.

"Bhai," then he pauses. "Yeah, she is here." He replies and stops to hear the other side. "She can't take the phone right now." He halts, his breath going deeper. I snuggle more into his arms, desperate to comfort him. "She can't, Bhai. She saw something she shouldn't have." I shake my head. I saw something I should have. I can't imagine losing my brother like this, a forever absence and millions of unanswered questions. "I'll tell you later. We'll be home late. Don't wait up for us." He states. "Yeah, bye." Then he hangs up and puts the phone on the floor.

"Why did you do that?" I ask softly, but I feel like screaming from inside.

"I was not going to jump, Tara." He tries to convince me. I sit straight to look into his eyes. They appear honest. But the memory burnt into my subconscious wipes away the sincerity of his words.

"What were you doing then? Measuring the distance between you and the ground?" I deadpan sarcastically, frustration slipping through my tone.

He sighs, and his long fingers gently raise, touching my cheek with nimble grace, tucking the strands of my raven locks behind my ear. "Trust me, I'm not lying. I wasn't going to jump."

"No one in their sane mind randomly steps on such heights without taking safety precautions, Bhai!" I snap, irked at his half assed explanation. "What were you doing there? Why? One wrong step, and you'd have lost your life! I'd have lost you! What forced you to step on there!?"

"A memory," he whispers, taking me aback with his answer.

"What?" The tone of my voice drops low, shock holding it hostage.

He nods, digging his teeth into his lower lip, a strange reluctance flashing through his eyes, and the awkwardness pushes us both slightly apart, so we can look at each other in a better light.

"Are you not comfortable sharing it?" I hold his knee, and his leg stops shaking. He seems restless.

"I was twelve," he sighs. "Dad went to London since it was fourteenth of February. They weren't in a relationship, your mom and him. I don't think your mom even knew every year, on this day, Dad would go to her, even if to catch a glimpse of her from the distance. This holds a special memory for them. I heard, when they were young, she confessed her love to him on valentine's day."

"How do you know?" I ask, shocked at the turn of events. How come every tragedy in this family ends up starting with those three?

"My mother told me," he replies. "I was really fond her. And she knew that. Whatever scrapes of affection she threw at me, I'd lap it up like a pathetic, abandoned puppy." He grits out, the rage and the pain turning his voice heavy, his eyes darker than before, like flames of hatred licking at the past memories with a thirst for revenge. "Eighteen years ago, the crazy woman brought me to this place, saying we're here to meet Dad. I didn't know he was in London. I found out later. And she," he breathes out heavily.