CANAISIS ∞ Chronicle One ∞ 2: A Captain's Journey

89 ∞ Going Through the Motions

He'd hesitantly informed Gareth of the Living Ships' intervention. That a data burst had cut through all the military safeguards and firewalls, penetrating the station's systems. Heading straight to the Medical Division, it dominated control of every system in the entire wing. Before the staff or techs even had a chance to panic, Gareth's Nanomed program had been rewritten.

The data burst had come and gone in less than a second, but incidental side effects were still causing trouble. One was the military generals and the project programmers who still couldn't get a good night's sleep. The ease of the 'attack' had them frightened to the point of panic, and the world A.I.'s were called in to audit every system on the station for threats.

Another was that patients in the Medical Wing found themselves healing extremely well due to changes in the treatment regime or Nanomed programming. The Medical Division was still finding such changes and cataloging them with great excitement.

"That data burst emanated from the Living Ships as a group. But I know who it really came from. It came from Canaisis, Gareth. Of that I have no doubt."

Harlin reminded Gareth that he'd himself reached out and completed the Hierarchy bonding with Canaisis, that he was her Captain now. It was apparent his life mattered to Canaisis, and Harlin pleaded with him to not turn away from that.

Gareth had thought about it, remembering the silent, aching void in his chest, and grudgingly accepted the fact that he owed his life to a ship named Canaisis. Something inside him had heard and acknowledged the life debt, even as he resented it. But Harlin's words were also in accord with a desire Gareth hadn't known he had.

He remembered that moment with crystal clarity, regarding Harlin with his face blank of any emotion. But inside, there'd been furious shiftings of the dynamics of his mind. He'd examined each data point as if it were a puzzle, examining every angle, then put it all together to ponder the completed puzzle as a whole. Like a math equation with a solution, he found a new insight. It would require him to take on a duty, just one more time. Assuming Captaincy was solely a price he had to pay.

The look on Harlin's face as he turned away would be etched in Gareth's mind forever. Harlin hadn't been able to keep his discouragement hidden. His eyes spoke of disappointment, believing his words had fallen on deaf ears. Although the words didn't have the effect Harlin hoped for, they had been heard.

Harlin ignited a purpose in Gareth. He would have been pleased with that, even if it wasn't the purpose he'd intended. But all Gareth could do was watch Harlin turn away. Gareth couldn't move, couldn't offer any words, or even acknowledge comfort from Harlin's effort. After several moments, he'd simply resumed eating his meal. Without a word, Harlin got up to take his own dishes out of the room.

The emptiness of the room sank into Gareth, and he paused as an intuitive thought came to him. He looked up at the optic sensor over the door and regarded it for a few moments.

"Canaisis." He didn't know what channels the A.I. was using to keep an eye on him other than on his health, but he was pretty certain the message would reach her even if Maat had to relay it. "I accept."

Ever since then, he'd been going through the motions everyone expected of him, of appearing normal. They had to believe he was able to assume his duties, for they stood between him and Canaisis. Between him and his desire to leave Earth and all that it ever meant to him behind.

A layer of glass separated him from the world. He feared feeling anything. Feared his emotions would shatter the glass. He often felt like he was looking out at the world from another dimension. The world he saw seemed alien in some subtle, unseen way. The visit from Mr. Mayfine was when Gareth came to be thankful for its protection. Mayfine offered his condolences, his regrets at how things had turned out.