Pocket Full Of Proses.

On Hitting Children and My Hatred For Adults

Speaking of, I've also noticed that a lot of adults don't try to do things differently from their parents for the better, instead they try to find ways to make it worse for their child. It's a crab mentality really. I find it pathetically ridiculously when they try to justify hitting their children by stating that their parents hit them too. Let me get this straight, you know the pain and trauma of being hit and yet decide to transfer that to your own flesh and blood? This is a classic case of dumb and dumber that many of my  generation have fortunately resolved to change.

Oh and by the way, you'd be gravely mistaken if you think I'm trying to imply that kids do not need disciplining or that I'm against that. They very much do need disciplining and I judge parents equally harshly who do not do so. All I'm trying to say is that hitting is simply not an effective way to do it, research has proven that fact many times; and contrary to popular belief, it is rather harmful. Surprise surprise, hitting children actually counts as ✨abuse✨. What is harmless and actually works is reinforcement.

SitWithIt is a therapist who spreads awareness about mental health through her Instagram. She has talked many times about how a lot of her adult clients wish their parents had never hit them and that it has done them no good. Hitting children doesn't change their mindset, it only teaches them to repress their feelings and not trust their care givers. Often times children simply shut themselves off and stop sharing their problems. Think about that for a moment. If a child cannot go to their own parents for their problems, who do they go to? Imagine how alone one would feel in that situation and imagine how vulnerable that would make them. Think about that...for a second...

I have also seen many memes on social media from kids who had strict parents, talking about how their behaviour didn't change, they just learnt to hide it really well. Another thing that hitting does, is normalise it and teach the child that the way to handle disagreements is violence. The child grows up and simply hits their partner because they don't know any better, that's what they were taught.

I've seen adults actually laugh when I presented them with well researched facts and outright dismiss facts, and mind you I live with with otherwise intelligent people. I've also seen many reply with "my parents hit me, I turned out fine". First of all, do you not feel shame in hitting those whose brains still have about 10 years left to actually solidify? Is hitting them the best solution you can think of to whatever the problem is at hand? Do you not have enough maturity to practice self control? Secondly, as a psychology student, buddy trust me, you're far from fine. Such adults display many behaviours that are considered to be unhealthy but since there's very little mental health awareness in our society, it gets seen as normal. And mind you, some societies consider cannibalism to be normal so uhh...that's that.

Third, I read a thread on reddit about whether hitting children counts as abuse, I'll link it below. One comment pointed out how there is only one question to ask yourself in the situation. Are my children old enough to understand logic? If yes, use reason. If no, they won't understand why they're being punished anyway.

Fourth, I've noticed that Indians hold westerners in high regard. By that logic, defenders of hitting toddlers, do you not think there must be a reason it's illegal to hit children over there?

It's perfectly valid to feel whatever you feel. That being said, feelings are not facts. Children can be absolutely devils and so I completely understand adults getting angry at them, there's a limit to how much one can tolerate after all, but that does not justify the act of translating those feelings and emotions physically. Whenever you feel something negative, try to break it down, that's an important thing therapy will teach you. For example, I once saw two toddlers picking up puppies and throwing them for fun. Being an animal lover, my blood started to boil and I felt uncontrollably angry, I felt like hitting them but I knew at that moment my feelings are irrational; valid, but irrational. I took a deep breath, calmed myself down a little and realised I wasn't angry at them as such, I was angry at the act. I thought at that moment, "they're just toddlers, they don't know what they're doing" but they still needed to be stopped, so I went to them and tried to politely hint to their 60-70 year old grandfather to get then to stop. I said to the toddlers "hey, please don't do that, their mom might get angry and bark at you" to which the old man geniusly replied "oh don't worry, she never barks at them". If you still wonder why and how I passionately hate adults...I hope you have your answer.

Moral of the story : kindly refrain from hitting your child or anybody for that matter. Most of the times, there are much more civil ways to solve the problem at hand. We live in a nation known for *the* peace symbol, Gandhi; be a true patriot and support non violence. (Unconventional logic but if you think about it, I'm just mirroring adults here). Another important conclusion (note this down, this is important for UPSC) is that, if I had a dollar for everytime I stayed up at night thinking about all the absurd things adults do and justify with crooked logic, I'd put Jeff Bezos** to shame.
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>> For people who have read other works of mine, you'll notice a great difference in the tone of writing. That is because this is a topic I feel particularly strongly about. "Particularly" because if you know me well, you'd know I speak passionately about everything. I also absorbed accidentally and temporarily absorbed Trevor Noah, Drew Gooden (discount John Mulaney, sorry Drew) and a bit of Charles Dickens since I'm currently in the middle of reading Great Expectations. But enough dissing old people, I have a lot to say for someone who couldn't even raise hand in class. 🫠

*In short, adults teach us they are always right and know everything. Questioning them is disrespectful. Why? Because it is a threat to their authority.

**Tangent but I was initially going to write Mark Zuckerberg but then I remembered he just lost 95 billion dollars over the Metaverse and has now fallen to the 26 or 27 richest.

I also hate capitalism.

I'm a person full of hatred and spite, I hope you feel that through the screen, I've never done a single good thing in my life.

I also really truly hope you get sarcasm because otherwise I'm very doomed.
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Resources to educate yourself about the topic and mental health in general :
https://youtube.com/c/ThePsychShow
https://instagram.com/awkwardgoat3?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/lindsay.fleminglpc?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/micheline.maalouf?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/theanxietyhealer?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/igototherapy?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://instagram.com/sitwithwhit?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Reddit : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ylxtng/is_spanking_your_children_abusive_why_or_why_not/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share