the soft baritone of my father's voice
as he sings
in our living roomand today we sat in a green field
(me and five other girls)
and we spoke about flings
and stings, and our selfish sistersand i'm writing poems
my nails between my teeth, flecks of blue nail polish on my tongue
because i found out today i killed a friendship
for no reason at all
three months, ninety days
a blip in time
i'm lucky she took me back
that she has a kind heartand my mother is reading
a book about the last mughal
(she can never get enough of past glories)
we fought yesterday but i think
we're okay now(we never stay mad at each other for too long anyway)
she laughs in awe, now
tells my father
that he sounds good when he sings
and he smiles and blushes like a husband
should for his wifei cried today
in front of the resurrected friend
as i tried to tell her that i was so fucking sorry
but she just put her arms around me
and i let the words die in my throati have a thousand words i want to say to her
(all in due time)the song my father is singing:
رنجش ہی سہی دل ہی دکھانے کے لئے آ
رنجش ہی سہی
آ پھر سے مجھے چھوڑ کے جانے کے لئے آhe asks me to translate it
i try, but
tragically, shamefully
i am not very good at the language of my ancestors,he has a look in his eyes as he reveals it to me
come to show your heart, even if it's a grudge
only a grudge
come to leave me againit's strange to hear him talk about lovers in our living room
(who is he thinking of?)
thursday, third of november
soothing hugs, tears of rue,
confessions about attachments,
the laughter of people i love, the warm meal my mother makes,
and the songs my father sings in urdusomeone said to me today,
everything is coming full circleand i'm happy. happy for love, for friends,
and for november.