Written In The Stars

Leap Of Faith

There are over 8 billion people in the world, yet, 200 million trillion stars in the sky. Approximately speaking, 200 sextillion stars exist within the stratosphere. People die every day, people leave every day, but the one thing that never leaves, never dies, never even fades or dims ever so slightly, are stars. If you asked my mother, stars are the most reliable sources to lean on for support. To look up too, quite literally and figuratively. They've been there for her all her life. And especially for mine. Why put so much faith in people, when they always let you down? why have such expectations of your significant others, friends, or even family. 

When even they leave. 

They die.

 They vanish without warning. 

Nothing on this earth lasts forever. 

Not a feeling, not an emotion, not a moment, not a word, not an action, not even a day. 

That is why so many of us, tell each other, live in the moment, cause once it's gone. It's gone. So many of us feel nostalgic for our childhood as we get older, or deja vu from good moments within our past. 

But who is ever truly satisfied with having to say goodbye? 

My mother never had a perfect life, and that's not speaking lightly. My grandmother, was an alcoholic, who didn't care much about the well being of my mother. My mother's father had left them for a new family when my mother was born. Celestina Rodriguez was my mother's maiden name, if only my mother had friends around my age to call her Celeste. She didn't though, she had to take care of her mother all on her own, as well as get an education for herself. Pay the bills at such a young age, and study so she could pass her classes. 

She never had the time to truly be a kid. 

My grandmother and my mother got into fights constantly, but the one that spun out of proportion was the argument they had after my mother's graduation from high school. "I can't do it anymore ma, i can't pick up the pieces and take care of you on my own. I'm eighteen, which means i get to decide where i go from here. I got enough credits for college, so i'm leaving." my mother told my grandmother that night. And once Celestina left, a few days later her mother died of an overdose. 

Even though my mother never had the perfect life, or a supportive mother in her corner, she made the most of what she recieved. She always turned to the stars for reliability. The one thing she could count on and look up to when she felt scared, alone, worried, or even angry. Were the stars. My mother wanted a better life for me, so when she attended college and fell in love with my father, Dipper Monterro. She passed the knowledge of the stars on to me, when i was younger. To always count the stars and look up at the sky, whenever i felt anxious or something. 

Cause they would always be there to catch me, when this world made me feel like i was falling. The stars were something that could catch me. Her and i would have countless talks about the solar system, the moon, the stars, and even the rest of the planets. Sometimes our galaxy. And i was fascinated by how fascinated my mother was about them. The way her eyes lit up when she told me why she named me Adrena Stella Monterro. How she inspired me with her strength and her courage to pursue through the hardest moments in life, no matter how many times people or situations knocked her down. 

But after a few years, she passed away of Glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer. My father and I had to watch it happen. I remember the day she laid on her death bed, held my hand in hers, and placed a hand on my cheek, wiping my tears away. "Don't cry my child, i am going to reunite with our ancestors in the stars and watch over you for all eternity. And soon, you will join me" she whispered, as her hand slipped off my cheek and her heart beat was just a flat line on the monitor next to me.