Chapter 14: "How could I forget?"

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"I think...I think the floor looks comfortable right now," Wilson muttered, her dark skin covered in sweat as she slid down the wall. Her dark hair was matted to her forehead and she pulled a strand away from her mouth. "As I was saying...I have already looked through Ez's mission report a thousand times and–"

"No, no, I'm talking about our mission report."

"Ours?"

"See." I sat crossed legged in front of Wilson, bouncing up and down in excitement. "In our report, it says that Ezra's Analyst died two months ago, which is one month after Ez was sent on the mission, right?"

"Right, but how does that-"

"And." I shuffled closer, "we only discovered that the Analyst died a few nights ago, right? Then they found the fake account in your name."

"Yes? But...why are you telling me this?"

"What if...what if the reason Ezra hasn't contacted us is because he's not in any danger?"

Wilson frowned and I could see the cogs in her mind whirring. Her eyes brightened and she gasped as they clicked. "You- you mean that...Ezra doesn't realise he's in danger?"

I nodded enthusiastically, feeling a bit proud of myself at having connected the correct dots.

Wilson slumped back and tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth, fiddling with the loose threads in her sleeve. "That...that would make sense. Somebody has evidently replaced Ez's Analyst, which is why there were no discrepancies in the reports. If Ez really doesn't believe he's in danger, then that would explain why he didn't contact us... but why? Why did the fake Analyst slip up?"

I shrugged. "Maybe they don't need Ezra anymore?"

"But if that was the case, then they would have just killed him and blamed it on the mission..." Wilson fell into deep thought and pinched the bridge of her nose. "There's something we're missing..."

I tilted my head and my eyebrows drew together as another thought struck me. "Wilson...you said that you knew the place we were going to...you said it was dangerous...how do you know that place?"

Wilson recoiled and inhaled sharply, her fists clenching like I had physically struck her. "I...I lost someone. Someone close to me when we, uh, when we were there. It's...not a great place to go if I'm honest."

"I feel like a shit person for asking," I scooted back to give Wilson some space, "but can you please tell me more? I swear to take the secret to my grave, but anything big or small would be useful to know."

Wilson took a long, shuddering breath and dug her nails into her palms, creating tiny, red crescents in the skin, "Do you... do you remember the reason why we started hating each other?"

Out of all the questions in the world, that was probably the last one I was expecting her to ask, "Sorry?"

"Remember in the year after I first came to the Agency?" A bittersweet smile bloomed across her expression, "we were friends."

I swallowed and averted my gaze to a dark, suspicious-looking stain on the carpet. "Yeah, I, uh, I remember."

"Do you remember why we stopped being friends?"

A lump rose to my throat and I chuckled humourlessly. "How could I forget?"

"We never really talked about it," Wilson muttered, drawing circles on her right knee, "and that's why I cannot trust you right now."

"So what?" Anger flared up in me, "You're just gonna risk our lives- Ezra's life- because of that stupid thing in the past?"

"Yeah, I am!"

"Well, I'm sorry but you were also being unfair."

"Oh I was being unfair? You started it!"

"I may have put the cracks in our friendship, but you were the one who turned it to dust," I growled out. "You just refused to listen!"

Wilson shook her head. "After all these years, you still don't get it. It wasn't what you did, Carter, it was what you said afterwards."

A retort died on my tongue as I saw tears build up in her emerald-coloured eyes, slipping over the lid and running two streams down her cheeks. Wilson only cried when she was in severe pain- the kind that makes your chest hurt and a ball of emotions to form in your throat, robbing the ability to speak. Even when she fractured her ribs and broke her arm in two places she didn't cry.

A weight came crashing down on me and I leaned back. How badly did I hurt her all those years ago?

For the first time in years, my thoughts travelled back to 'That Day'.

"How could you do this to me, Jay?" Wilson yelled, shoving me back. "I thought we were friends!"

"We are, Ada!" I exclaimed, placing my hands on her shoulders.

She shrugged them off. "If we were friends, you would not have done this!"

"Look, I said I'm sorry! How would I know that Haddel would use this against you?"

"I trusted you," she whispered, her body shaking. Her eyes filled with tears and I stumbled back like she had struck me. "I trusted you and you betrayed me."

Wilson never cried.

She brushed her tears away and glared at me, hands curled into tight fists by her side. "You're just like your mother."

My insides went cold and a loud hum filled my ears. "What did you just say?"

"You are just like your mother," each word sent a dagger to my heart, "No, you are worse than your mother. At least she didn't hide her cruelty with a facade."

"How could you say that?" My voice was hoarse and the words I said felt foreign even to my own ears. "No, actually, I can see why. Did you really think that you could rise up in the Agency? No wonder you're reacting so strongly. You're just a bitter bitch who was picked up from the streets."

Crack!

My head snapped to the side and I gasped, my left cheek exploding with pain.

"How dare you say that to me?" Wilson hissed. "We're done. I will never forgive you for this."

That day, I lost a precious friend and gained an enemy that still haunted me today.

In the following months, we were constantly at each other's throats. I was sure the burning hatred I felt for her would never fade. Even to this date- nearly four years later- I had sworn to never forgive her.

But now... staring at the woman who was desperately trying to control her tears, an emotion I had never felt before washed over me.

Regret.

If I could go back in time and slap my arrogant past self, I would.

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?

"Don't you see it, Carter?" Wilson mumbled, suffocating those old tears of hers with a dry laugh. "How can I trust you after you spilled my secrets?" 

*********

Sorry for the late update! Recently got off a flight and was too exhausted to post. 

Next chapter: Danced on her grave

I hope you guys liked it! 

Stay safe and thanks for reading :) 

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