Sinner ➫ Lee Heeseung

31

After that day, me and Heeseung got slightly closer along with the seizures. I think it has something to do with accident 8 years ago cause I keep seeing glimpse of scenes which I have never experienced. I once read a journal that because of body's defence mechanism sometimes brain forces to forget some memories it is termed as psychogenic amnesia.

But that's not really a problem, the problem is that I keep seeing Heeseung un those memories. I see blood, gun things like that. It just freezes me down to my bones and keeps reminding me of my real parents. I just wonder what was our relation? I have yet to confront Heeseung about it. My feelings for him is growing stronger irrespective of all this amnesia stuff.

Heeseung: 
Jangmi are you free on 31st Oct?

Jangmi:
Yeah, why?

Heeseung:
Well my friend is throwing a Halloween party?

I stared at the text for a while. Is he inviting me to go with him? Maybe he wants me to babysit Amy. Either will be fine. I like staying indoors anyways. 

Jangmi:
Yeah, why?

Heeseung:
Will you be my date? 

I gasped, my eyes bulged out and I yeeted my phone away, hiding my face in the pillow hitting the air, my heart beating furiously. I got up and reread the text again and again. Not believing my eyes. DID HE ASK ME TO BE HIS DATE? Like a formal date? I threw my hands over my mouth to stop myself from screaming. And, I breathed to calm myself. I cleared my throat. 

Jangmi:
Sure :)

Heeseung:
Really? I thought left me on read because 
you didn't like the idea!!!

Jangmi:
Chill, no worries. 

Heeseung:
Cool, I'll come pick you up.

I sighed, feeling proud of not messing up the text because of excitement. Then a thought came in my mind to ruin my mood, my roommates will question me again. I bite my lips thinking what should I do. I should probably call him earlier. He understands. 

Jangmi:
Okay but can you come lil early cause
yk my roommates….

Heeseung:
Okay. What will you do coming earlier?

Jangmi:
I'll dress up somewhere else. 
Like a trial room or something. 

Heeseung:
Why not come to my house then?

Jangmi:
Are you okay with it? 

Heeseung:
Yeah that's completely fine. 
Amy's wanted to meet you as well

Jangmi:
Amy? Come to think I
haven't met Amy in a while

Heeseung:
She misses you a lot!!!

Jangmi:
I miss her too.

The smiling image of Amy's face appeared in front of my eyes making me fall in daze. She is such a lovely kid, normally I'm not fond of kids cause they are all loud. She is clever one. Even though she gets loud sometimes, I don't really feel irritated. She is so lovely. I wish I was her mother.

My face turned warm, when I started getting deep in the thought of relationship. If I was her mother and me and Heeseung would have done it. OMG! I'm such a perv. I shook my head furiously as I tried to dispel the thought and got off my bed.

Then again I thought, If there really is a chance that I get to become Amy's mother. I will work hard.

Gosh! What am I thinking? It's probably me who thinks like that. I thought. A child. I sighed as I thought about the first time we met. Suddenly, I felt the shooting in my head.

Jangmi stumbled and collapsed on the floor holding her head. A image began to appear in her head. She saw pregnancy test with positive results in her hand. Her eyes growing blurry with tears. Her hands trembling as she gazed at the pregnancy test kid.

The pain disappeared and I was back in the present. My hands were trembling, my heart was palpitating. I knew it was a memory from past. Does that mean I got pregnant? Did I meet some guy that year? But no one told me anything about meeting a guy? No way! I would have a fuck buddy right?

And like that I fell into dilemma trying to figure out all the possibilities.