C. [trans copia x trans male reader]

chapter 5: regret

Y/n's pov

We're trending.

Fuck.

"Im going to the bathroom." I say to the others, papa looks at me strangely.

I lock myself in there and I switch the shower on to dull out my sobbing. I start to sob uncontrollably and reach for the razors.

"do I really WANT to do this."

No.

Yes.

I don't know.

The urges are getting too strong.

I can't help myself.

I started to hurt myself.
I've failed.
I failed.

I wasn't ready to come out.
It's too much.
I can't do it.

Minutes pass. I feel light headed as the room got humid from the shower and blood.

Lots of it.

I finally subside out of my mental breakdown and regain controll.

What have I done

*knock knock*

Shit.

"Hello?? Mio Caro?"

Oh fuck it's papa.
"Yeah?" I shout. "Are you alright? You've been there 30 minutes" he calls out. "I'll uh.. be a minute." I answer.
Fuck. I told him I'm getting better. I lied. I feel like I lied.

I clean up and he just barged in. Fuck my arms weren't covered.

"PAPA." I sort of shout.
"What the fuck.." he says.
"Im sorry I didn't mean to I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." I apologise over and over and over. He looks at all the blood. Puddles. And puddles.

"What happened..I thought you got better." Copia says.
I'm overwhelmed. I cant speak. I just start sobbing. The others heard and came to see what's going on. "GUYS don't come in I'll sort it." Copia said.

"What's going on??" Some of them ask. I'm so embarrassed. "I fucked up. Im sorry. I so fucking sorry! I lied.. i shouldnt've said i was getting better. Im sorry. Im so sorry. I dont want you to have to worry about me. Im sorry, i panicked. I wasnt ready. I-" I broke down. "You shouldn't be sorry.." he says. I couldn't stand up or I'd probably collapse. "I'll need to bandage you up. Luckily I brought some." He says. I'm just sat on the floor sobbing, covered in blood. Luckily out of my ritual clothes. He cleans and stops the bleeding as they were really deep this time. I refused to go to a hospital though.

Copia's pov

He was not better

He wanted to keep me from worrying. I should've checked up on him. Fuck.

He just sobbed and fell into my arms. I heald him tight.
"Im sorry. I just got so worried about you." He said sobbing.
"You don't need to say sorry.." I reassure him.

15 minutes later he feels well enough to get atleast to bed. He had lost quite a bit of blood but you see demons don't really need stitches to heal.

Sodo's pov

I'm worried. I don't show it but I'm so fucking worried. What happened? Why aren't we allowed in? What's going on? Are they okay?. My mind is racing but I kept content.
"What do you think happened" rain asks. " im not sure. But it isn't good. I know it's not. It just isn't." Mountain says. "I hope they both are okay.." Aether says. And everyone agrees.

I'm hearing sobbing and the word "sorry" like hundreds of times. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I thought I was getting better." I heard from y/n.

From what? Were all in the dark about everything. What's he saying sorry for. What did he do so bad he has to say sorry like 500 times?

15 minutes later they both come out. Y/n holding on to papas shoulder for support to their room.

What the fuck happened.

Copia's pov

What have I done.

I must've triggered something in him. Showing those cuts must've made him feel the need to do it too. I feel so bad.

This is all my fault.