Wounded Not Defeated

17: Blaze

I walk out of Fran's house and walk to my house. I try to open the front door with my key but it won't work. She must've changed the locks.
"Are you fucking kidding me." I knock on the door, not bang on it, just knock on it with a lot of force. No answer. I slam the storm door shut in frustration. I walk down the sidewalk having nowhere's to go so I go into my pocket to grab my phone and its not in it.
"Damn it!" I kick a rock and it shatters someone's window. I start running towards the park. There's no one here, so I sit on the bench and start drumming with my hands on my legs. I start thinking and as I think I forget why I even got mad. Fran says I'm gay all the time, but this time it bothered me. I mean I love Fran and I'm pretty sure I'm not gay but that's just a sore subject and I don't like talking about it. Yeah, I said it, I don't think I'm gay. I really do love her, so much I feel like my heart will explode if I find more space to love her with it. If that makes sense. Hey, I'm a man in love, I'm supposed to not make sense. As I'm sitting here thinking to myself, I get distracted by something in the corner of my eye. Eric. I immediately try to get up to make a run for it when I'm frozen on the bench. I'm not scared of him, I can actually beat his ass, believe it or not but when he gets into one of those moods, there's no stopping him unless it's pussy. Meaning a girl. Typical man. But this time I don't think a girl will come rescue me because that girl just broke his heart..I'm dead. I'm going to die. I'll be beaten death by Eric. Maybe if I plead long enough I'll get a phone call like in jail. I watch him as he rapidly gets madder and madder, but suddenly his face changes and it softens. He doesn't look so mad but as if he understands and he's just sad now . She slowly kisses him on the cheek and replaces her lips with her hand quickly but gently. She gives him a sad smile then walks away. He stands there for a second, as if he's stunned then turns away, walking towards me, but he doesn't see me. He sadly walks towards my bench with his head down, sniffling and wiping he's face. I can't deny I don't feel bad for him. He's an asshole, no one wants to be with an asshole. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes, and his face sours.
"Move the fuck over."
"I understand."
"No, you fucking don't, dude. You don't understand." He stresses as he takes a seat next to me.
"I know what it's like to have a really bad relationship, bro. I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out,"
"You're gay. Okay. Nobody wants you therefore you've never had a real relationship, okay?"
"Yes I have, I'm in the middle of one right now! If anyone tried to hurt her I'd be in prison. That motherfucker would be dead."
"I just don't know what I did!" He breaks down into tears and sets his face onto his hands.
"I know, it's okay," I said rubbing his back trying to soothe him. He just looks at me with his big blue eyes. And in a small but fast moment our lips were together moving in sync. He moved his hands from his lap to my cheek and the other on my neck, I wrapped my arms around his neck and we sat there. Kissing. I just cheated on Fran with my bully. After it was over he looked around, making sure no one saw. Kissing one more time, "I've always wanted to do that." And walked away,

♪♪♪

"Fran!" I call up to her bedroom,
"Oh! You're talking to me now?"
"Baby, babygirl, my sweet love, baby, I have to tell you something and it may make me lose you but I have to be honest with you even if it tears us apart. Baby, just, when I tell you, please understand. Please baby? I love you so much, I don't want to lose you-"
"Blaze, you're scaring me."
"Just please be understanding-" I keep going on even when she tries to cut me off. I can see the fear in her eyes and I can feel the tears on my cheeks, but I have to tell her what just happened with Eric even if I do lose her forever.
"I really don't want to lose you, baby, you are the best damn thing that has ever happened to me and I would kill for you. Baby, if I-"
"Stop calling me baby! Just tell me what the fuck you did!"
"But I don't want to lose you." My voice cracks at the end. I sound like a crying whinny five year old,
"Just tell me." She says calmer,
"Fine, Eric and I....... Eric and I........ Eric and I...... kissed."
"You did what?"
"Baby, I didn't plan to cheat on you, please don't leave me." I pleaded,
"Go." She said crossing her arms and hurt written on her face. This moment was the one I expected and feared at the same time. My mouth became dry and I was now crying harder. I said in a very small voice,
"Okay, I just wanted you to know the truth. I love you, my precious babygirl. Never forget that." I try to kiss her on the cheek but she pushes me away, she breaks a little more each second. My tears are making my vision blurry as I pack my things and walked out of her front door. I unlock my phone and call Arianna.
"Sup?" She sounds to gruesomely happy for how I'm feeling.
"Hi. Can I come over?"
"Justin's over, that okay?"
"Actually I got a place I have to go so, nevermind."
"Okay, let me know if you change your mind! Later!"
"Bye."I say quietly and start walking to the cemetery to see my dad. When I get there, I touch the tomb and I feel him.
"Dad? Hey, I really miss you, a lot actually," I say slowly, scratching the back of my neck with my other hand trying to keep it together.
"So, my girlfriend I broke up and you're not going to be happy as to why we broke up either. Well, I kissed Eric. Dad, I don't know what to do! I need you at a time like this, even though it would still feel like you are dead because you wouldn't help me at all, your such a bastard. All you wanted was a perfect son. Well guess what? You didn't! I didn't decide to be the most biggest disappointment ever! I tried everything to make you proud but all you did was focus on the negatives because you're an asshole, wait, I should be saying were an asshole because you're dead now, fucker. No wonder you and mom get along so good, because you both are ignorant fucking assholes that don't give a shit about anyone but their conceded self. I'm glad you were drunk. I'm glad you got into that accident. Hell! I'm glad you died. You are worthless! And so am I because you are the one who raised me. Wait, bullshit, mom fucking raised me not you, I never had a dad. And I never will. Bye Asshole!" I say walking out of the cemetery.

'We're always running away! And we don't even stop to think about it! The world is in our hands! They don't need to understand!'

"Hello?"
"Is this Blaze Max?"
"Yes,"
"Hi, I'm detective Lisa, your mother has passed.. I'm so sorry for your loss."
"You're looking for the person who killed her, right?"
"Well the person who killed her was herself.."
"What!?!"
"I'm so sorry."
"Whatever, thanks."
I hang up.
Unbelievable.
What a bitch.
I walk to my house and open my bedroom window. I smash everything in my room. I throw my blankets on the floor and rip all of my clothes on the floor from my dresser. I shatter all the picture frames, all the memories, everything. I didn't even say bye or anything.

Flashback:

"Here you go, you little asshole, go to your so called girlfriends house and live with her!"She hands me a box and a suitcase. I open both up, suitcase has clothes, box has my iPod, docking system, chargers and other things.
"Really you're kicking me out because I pierced my fucking lip?!" I stood up grabbed my stuff, opened the front to see Fran walking up the stairs, I turn and say,
"Thanks for packing my shit. Oh and no wonder I almost committed suicide. Fuck off, bitch!" And slammed the door.

End of flashback:

That's the last time I talked to her. I walk into the hallway with more pictures, echoes of laughter, echoes of yelling, crying, fighting, and then the echoes stop and all is silent. I punch a hole in the wall and start breaking bit by bit. Tears are nonexistent, which is quite confusing to me. I shed no tears only anger. I tear apart the whole house but then I reach upstairs and their room. No crossing tape is posted across the doorway in an X. I don't rip them off the doorway and stomp on them like I want to, I take a deep breath and walk into the room. It looks exactly the same as it was before I left. I search through her drawer and there's no suicide note or the pill bottle. No evidence that she committed suicide except the tape. Anger is still pumping through me but I bite my tongue and rush out of the room before I destroy it. I walk through the house and take one last look at my masterpiece. Glass dinnerware is broken and thrown everywhere, hole's in every wall at least two or three. The only unbroken things is my mouse cage with Ollie the mouse. The fish tank with Mr. Freckles and our snail Shelly, basically big expensive things also. I get a gallon Ziplock bag and fill it up with the water from the fish tank. I grab the fish net and put Shelly and Mr. Freckles in the bag. I dial Arianna's number.

"Hello?"
"Hey, can I come over?"
"Sure you can, is everything okay?"
"No." My voice cracks, and the dam has been broken. The tears that I thought were nonexistent finally became existent, flowing down and off my cheeks.
"Awe, Blaze, I'm so sorry, I know you really miss your dad."
"I'll be over soon and I'm bringing Ollie, Mr. Freckles and Shelly."
"Okay?"
"Later."
"See you soon, bye-bye!"
♪♪♪

Hey guys!:) So I just realized that they like never go to schoolXD Oops! Oh well but anyways, Blaze's life isn't so great right now.. So how many guessed that Eric was gay and liked Blaze? Comment, vote and enjoy!

-Alex!;)