𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 || Eren Jaeger

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 (𝒱𝐼𝐼)

╳╳╳

"Hey Dad,"

He lies on the sick bed, involuntarily resting only cause Hanji and the others ordered him to. I had just finished helping him change some of the bandages on his shoulder and the large one circulating his head. At my beckon his cloudy eye, the one not covered, narrows onto my face, noticing the change in tone. Immediately I know it--

I failed to hide my unease, thus alerting his.

"Yes?" he says.

I try to say what I intended. The words are there, somewhere knotted up, and though I try to disentangle them-- Dad... you know I love you, right? I really want to. I feel like I haven't said it enough. Yes, it's not necessarily my fault. I know that. Circumstances out of my control allotted me only a few years of this parent relationship with him, but... still. Have I let him know enough? If something happens to me in the next hour... or right this instant, heaven forbid. Will he know?

"Brat," He rests his hand on top of my head, "I know nothing is okay right now, but... is everything okay?"

I don't even know where to begin. When I really think about it, I don't actually understand anything thats going on. I'm a chess piece in a game and I do not know who my handler is, the player behind all this puppetry. Everything is so misconstrued, I can't discern left from right anymore. Or up from down. And gosh, I am just... so... scared.

I look at the state of him. He's good at suppressing it- after all, I wouldn't expect anything less from a man who's had to bear the title of Humanity's Strongest for forever. But even so. I can tell he is still suffering from the battering he endured against that explosion.

I don't know a way I can come clean without inciting fear in him. I don't know a way without worsening the fear inside me.

I scratch the script. All I give him is a meager smile, "Nothing. You better get used to this whole rest thing. We're not letting you leave until a couple hours."

I get up, taking the bowl with the dirty bandages with me. On my way to the door, he speaks up again.

"I dreamt of your mother last night."

I look back at him, halfway out the door. He faces the ceiling, asking it a myriad of questions, a lot of them probably the same that haunt me when I try to sleep.

"She wanted to tell me," he continues, "That up there... where she is... its very beautiful. But that the stars aren't quite the same. It's because they always look brighter seen from the darkest of places. She told me not to take that for granted. Not to rush to get where she is."

I take this in and smile at the notion. Levi just scoffs softly.

"Typical of her. She was always cryptic like that."

"Well... I think she makes a good point. I'll keep an eye out tonight." I say, and with that, I shut the door behind me, all that I meant to say sinking into a pit that's formed within me, an abyss that'll have to stay contained once more.

We reach Odiha by midnight. The remainder of the night following our arrival is spent dividing task among us. Between undocking the airplane, heaving it towards the dock, transporting cargo like fuel and weapons and gear, and setting up the Azumabito for success so that they can power up the beastly machine, we are restless. Everyone is mussy haired and static-eyed, yearning for sleep except we've forgotten the meaning of the word at this point.

Yelena's recovery from her arm injury has been steady. After some heckling to get her to divulge what Eren's location might be, she said our best bet is Fort Salta, a fortress harboring an airship research base in the mountains of southern Marley.

It makes sense. So long as it poses a threat, big or small, Eren's going to want to compromise it.

I sit at the edge of the bridge that juts into the water, a couple yards distance from the warehouse, feeling tiny and negligible under the dark umbrella that is the night sky. It blends with the dark water, blurring the horizon. My mother was right. The stars are spectacular tonight.

For a few selfish seconds I lose myself just watching them. Is Eren looking up at the same sky right now too? What is he thinking? Does it concern me at all?

"Alright everyone. Sunrise should be in about two hours." I hear Hanji say within earshot, "I recommend you all recharge in the bunkers. We'll take off at the first sign of daylight."

The ring is out of my pocket. I roll it between my thumb and my index, over and over.

I hear a flutter beside me and instantly my whole body tenses.

But I don't jump to action. I'm not sure why. Strangely, I have the inexplicable feeling that I'm safe, that nothing will hurt me.

Slowly, I look to my side.

A bird is sitting idly to my left.

My eyebrows quirk up, surprised at this animal's indifference to the human race. Aren't birds typically wary of people? Any bird I've encountered in my past ends up flying away the second I acknowledge it.

But this one isn't scared. He's a bit plump, with a medium length beak and a feathered coat of brown and white.

His thin talons inch closer to my hand, approaching. I wonder for a second if he's going to bite me. I don't have the gall to shoo him away. And besides, I've suffered worse. I won't be too upset over a fussy little bite, if those are his intentions.

But I assumed wrong. The bird pecks at the ring between my fingers, its beak making little tapping sounds against the gold band. The action isn't aggressive, but perhaps endearing? He stops and his beady black eyes flicker to me for a brief moment.

As absurd as it sounds, I am overtaken by inhibition. What does this peculiar bird want with me? I do something crazy. I slide the ring on.

And the bird has disappeared. A sudden breeze picks up, blowing my hair in my face, and as I tuck it behind my ear my eyes are unveiled to a sight that doesn't paralyze my heart, or rather, gets it racing.

Eren kneels before me, hands cradling my face up to meet his gaze. And I can't define it-- what he's thinking. But I know he's sad. I also know he's going to kiss me.

And I wake up with a jolt. I look around the bunker, foolishly expecting to see him, but reality is harsh and cruel. Eren isn't here. There was never a trace of him to begin with.

"Hey," Jean croaks sleepily.

I'm almost startled by his voice, until I see him lying next to me, and then I remember-- I asked him to keep me company.

"Nightmare?" he asks.

I shake my head softly, "No." The spike of adrenaline subsides and I lie down again, my head sinking into the pillow, but I can't get comfortable.

"Here," Jean shifts closer, and I take the invitation to lay my head on his chest, grateful for the warmth his body radiates that the non-insulated walls of the dreary bunker can't provide.

Although it is comforting, I know it's not destined to last. In a manner of minutes, I hear Hanji's voice circulating the corridors outside,

"Everybody in the warehouse! Gear up, it's go time!"

END OF CHAPTER