Hermitcraft Incorrect Quotes

Chapter 2

Scar: Grian was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Grian: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
Scar: Grian, you ate a chair.

Scar: I made tea.
Grian: I don't want tea.
Scar: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Grian: Then why are you telling me?
Scar: It is a conversation starter.
Grian: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Scar: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Scar: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Grian: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

Scar: Grian... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Grian: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Scar:
Scar: I wrote sanitize, Grian.

Scar: I went through an entire character arc during quarantine.
Scar: I became more evil if you're curious.
Grian: I We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Scar: I'm going to get worse on purpose.

Scar: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Grian: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Scar: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Grian: Really? Name one law.
Scar: Don't kill people?
Grian: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Scar: Here's some advice.
Grian: I didn't ask for any.
Scar: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.

Scar: You're right.
Grian: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Scar: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that'd be a neat noise.
Grian: I beg to differ.
Scar: Then beg.

Scar: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Grian: That's why I carry two swords.

Scar: So that's my plan.
Grian: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.
Scar: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Grian: It fucking sucks.
Scar: That's not constructive criticism.

Scar: How many kids do you have?
Grian: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Scar: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Grian: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Scar: Grian...
Grian: Oh no, 'Grian' in b-flat.
Grian: You're disappointed.

Scar: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Grian: What did you do?
Scar: Nobody died.
Grian: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Scar: Fuck.
Grian: We've got to work on your cursing.
Scar: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

(A/N: Scar DOES NOT SWEAR. HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR.)

Scar, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Grian: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Scar: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE
Grian: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Scar, desperately, as Grian bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Grian: Oh! B positive.
Scar: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Grian:

Scar: I was arrested for being too cool.
Grian: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Scar: So what's for dinner?
Grian, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

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More incorrect quotes! I'll add more hermits next time!

~Max

~512 words