Art of Darkness

epilogue

NATALIA ELYSE DELAVIN

"W- what?" Confusion was written on Aries' face as I said those words.

"Aries," I started as a lone tear fell from the corner of my eye. "I want to travel the world and heal myself in the process."

I heaved a heavy sigh before continuing. "I wanted to enjoy and fulfill that happiness that I lost when I was a kid. Maybe that way, I can finally move on from what happened. I haven't..." I sadly smiled holding his hand gently. "I haven't accepted everything that happened yet."

I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the floor for a quick second letting out a dry chuckle. "It's been five months and until now, I still blame myself. For what happened to Elijah, Avyanna, and you and our child."

"Nat—"

"If I continue on pushing this... guilt away, then I'm not healing myself. I'm hurting myself more and might hurt all of you in the process!" I didn't mean to raise my voice, everything just felt so... overwhelming. "Aries... I don't know how these emotions work. I'm not used to this at all. I want to know myself... I want to explore... I want to figure out things on my own."

My chest started to tighten, as my words slowly turned into sobs.

Aries wiped the tears away from my cheeks as I held my emotions back together so I could finish what I wanted to say.

"I want to be happy... genuinely happy. That kind of happiness that you all feel. I could see it in your eyes. It's something I don't see in mine whenever I look in the mirror. I... I know I made you promise to not leave me yet here I am, telling you that I want to leave," I chuckled.

Aries looked away, blinking his eyes repeatedly to stop himself from crying.

"I want to be alone... and when I return, I promise you, all the pain I have here," I pointed at my chest, "Will be gone," I smiled, genuinely.

"All these years, I've been forcing myself to be happy with wealth, with people fearing me... from killing people," I stopped and shook my head. "But all of them felt so temporary."

I looked back at the city lights, "I'm also human... I feel like I have so much to explore. Twenty years is just..." I stopped, not knowing what words to say next. "I don't know," I returned my gaze to him.

"I already told my family about it. I can see how they were opposing it in their minds but they're willing to accept it," I smiled. "Whether you like it or not, I'm leaving. As selfish as it sounds, I want to put myself first. I've already had everything prepared."

Aries wiped the tears from his eyes with his arms before speaking. "When are you coming back?" He softly asked.

"I don't know, maybe a few months? A year," I mumbled. "Until I can say that I'm finally okay."

"Let me... us... help you," the pain in his voice makes it harder for me to leave.

I lifted myself up a little and placed a small kiss on his lips, "I want to do this alone. It's better if I do this alone."

Aries pulled me in, hugging me tightly as he rested his head on my shoulder. He was already crying.

"We'll still remain in contact, right?" He asked, hopeful.

"I'm sorry."

It would be harder if I still surround myself with people associated with what I'm trying to solve.

"Aries," I whispered.

"Hm?" He hummed in response

"I love you. Don't you ever forget that."