A Thousand Ways To Run

W a r r e n

I started to lead her to the head table where my dad and mom were sat, talking with Becker and lazily sipping their scotch. I don’t know how my mom survives these things. She hates Becker’s wife. I seemed to be the only one who saw it. As if the three empty glasses of champagne in front of her didn’t give it away enough as Mrs. Becker kept talking, and talking, and talking. That’s probably why my mom hates her; she’s used to controlling the conversation.

“If anyone asks, you are—” I started.

“Senator Reed’s daughter. I attend art school in Europe,” Charliesaid lazily, eyes rolling and shoulders slumping forward.

“And?”

“And my mom was our maid for ten years, and I’m perpetually angry about having a dad who was never around, and I’m a bastard child.” Every word was said with spite and annoyance.

I laughed, adding quietly. “It’s such a good cover, even I almost believe it.”

Her hand gripped my arm as we walked, with each step getting tighter. Her grip was like an anaconda’s. I think I was losing blood flow.

“Ow, ow, ow,” I finally said, dropping my gentlemanly hold on her arm and glaring. She just smiled sickly sweet.

“There you are, Warren,” Dad said. We were at the head table by now. My mother’s attention had completely switched to me, her eyes narrowed as she took Charlie in. “Who is this?”

“Oh, um,” I stuttered, suddenly unable to think.

“Liz Reed,” Charlie stated, not bothering to reach out her hand for them to shake, a standard of behavior here.

“Oh, Senator Reeds... daughter?” Dad guessed.

“Yep,” Charlie responded, rocking on the balls of her feet. If she had gum, she probably would have been chewing it.

I almost started to clap.

And just like that, I saw a change in their eyes. I know this wasn’t the real Charlie they were looking at, but it scared me. The pure judgement. I thought we were so much like each other. I thought Charlie and I were... the same. The way my parents looked at her, I’d never felt so different.

“Nice to meet you,” Mom said, looking at her as if she was was a tiny candle flame, and we were a wildfire.

Why did I bring Charlie here? Why? Why couldn’t I have just accepted somethings should be kept a secret? I felt like I being slowly suffocated. My throat was getting tighter and was constricting. I was lightheaded – not the same way I felt looking out on that stage and seeing thousands of people. The first time I’d ever appeared with my parents in public was terrifying, but I could deal with it. Here, in little halls full of sharks that will pick anyone apart who’s not accustomed to the water, I couldn’t take it. It was like drowning, but watching everyone else around you breathe.

“Char—” I started, but she cut me off before I could really fuck things up.

“I’m hungry.”

“The food table is over there,” Mom pointed it out for her, just daring her to leave so she could talk about her the second she wouldn’t be able to hear.

“You know? So am I,” I said, following behind as Charlie waltzed away. I could feel my mom’s jaw drop from behind me in shock. She was sure to be ashamed of her precious son that was choosing to associate with the riff raff. I’d be getting a mouthful from her later. But I really could not have cared less.

They had a buffet stretch lined on the wall with just about any kind of finger food you could imagine. I reached for a mini pig-in-a-blanket, putting the whole thing my mouth. Charlie eyed the array of trays, biting her lip and moving along without taking anything. Finally, she stopped and grabbed a glass of wine instead. After taking a sip and swishing it around in her mouth, she put it back with the others.