Beauty And The Beast Metadede Edition

Chapter 2: A place to stay

Art by Jesterballride on Tumblr

(Galacta Knight and Landia continue on their journey until they become lost)

Galacta Knight: We should be there by now. Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken a...wait a minute. (Lifts lantern to illuminate sign giving directions to Anaheim and Valencia) No. Let's go this way!

(Landia looks right, at a dark, overgrown path, then left towards a more inviting route, then begins to go left)

Galacta Knight: Come on, Landia! It's a shortcut. We'll be there in no time!

(Landia and Galacta Knight continue through the dark.)

Galacta Knight: This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Landi? We'd better turn around...and...whoa...whoa girl, whoa Landia. Oh, oh! Look out!

(A swarm of babuts fly out of a tree. Landia runs through the forest avoiding everything until she almost runs over the edge of a cliff)

Galacta Knight: Back up! Back up! Back up! Good girl, good girl. That's good, that's--back up! Steady. Steady! Hey now. Steady. (Landia finally bucks him off.) Landia! (Landia runs away, leaving Galacta Knight on the edge of the cliff.) Landia? Oh no! (He looks up and sees awoofies growling at him. Galacta Knight runs away, being chased by the awoofies. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open.) Help! Is someone there?

(The gate opens, and Galacta Knight runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his cape on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Galacta Knight runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously.)

Galacta Knight: Hello? Hello?

(Watching from a table near the entrance are Sailor Dee the butler/mantel clock and Bandana Dee the maitre d'/candelabra)

Bandana Dee: (Barely whispering) Old fellow must have lost his way in the woods.

Sailor Dee: (Also whispering) Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away.

Galacta Knight: Is someone there?

Sailor Dee: Not a word, Bandana. Not one word!

Galacta Knight: I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my dragon and I need a place to stay for the night.

Bandana Dee: (looking at Sailor Dee like a child having just found a lost puppy) Oh Sailor, have a heart.

Sailor Dee: Shush shush shhhhh! (Sailor Dee puts hand over Bandana Dee's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Sailor Dee's hand.) Ow ow Ow OW OW OUCH!!!!!

Bandana Dee: Of course, monsieur, you are welcome here.

Galacta Knight: (looking around in confusion) Who said that? (He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand)

Bandana Dee: (Tapping him on the shoulder) Over here!

Galacta Knight: (Spins around, pulling Bandana Dee to the other side) Where?

Bandana Dee: (Taps Galacta Knight on the side of the head. Galacta Knight looks at Bandana Dee.) Allo!

Galacta Knight: Oh!!!! (Startled, he drops Bandana Dee onto the floor.) Incredible!

Sailor Dee: (hopping over) Well, now you've done it, Bandana. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh! (Galacta Knight picks up Sailor Dee)

Galacta Knight: How is this accomplished? (He fiddles with Sailor Dee)

Sailor Dee: Put me down! At once! Stop that! (giggles) Stop that, I say! (Galacta Knight tickles the bottoms of Sailor Dee's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Sailor Dee's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Galacta Knight opens the front of Sailor Dee and begins to play with his pendulum. Sailor Dee slams the door shut on his finger.) Sir, close that at once, do you mind?!

Galacta Knight: I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that... aah... I mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!!! (Galacta Knight sneezes in the face of Sailor Dee, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Galacta Knight sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain.)

Bandana Dee: Oh, you are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire.

Galacta Knight: Thank you.

(Bandana Dee and Galacta Knight head towards the den, with Sailor Dee running after them.)

Sailor Dee: No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here. (King Dedede is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den.) I demand that you stop... right... there! (Sailor Dee tumbles down the steps. Galacta Knight takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire.) Oh no, no. Not the master's chair! (The footstool rushes past Sailor Dee, barking up a storm.) I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!

Galacta Knight: (As the footstool rushes up to him) Well, hello there, boy. (Footstool props himself up under the feet of Galacta Knight. Taranza enters and removes his cloak.) What service!

Sailor Dee: All right, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here, and- (Sailor Dee is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Morpho Knight, the cook/teapot)

Morpho Knight: (Arriving by the side of Galacta Knight) How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time. (Pours tea into cup (Kirby), which hops over into Galacta Knight's open hand)

Sailor Dee: (from face down position on carpet) No! No tea! No tea!!

Kirby : (As Galacta Knight sips the tea) Ha ha! It tickles, dad!

Galacta Knight: (startled by the cup) Oh! Hello!

(The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Bandana Dee's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Sailor Dee dives for cover. Morpho Knight begins to shake. Kirby jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his father)

Kirby: Uh oh!

(King Dedede enters. We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness.)

Beast: (growling his words) There's a stranger here.

Bandana Dee: (who has relit his flames) Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods. He was cold and wet, so... (Bandana Dee's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of King Dedede, which puts out his flames once again. Bandana Dee looks down, dejected.)

Sailor Dee: (Coming out from under a rug) Master, I'd like to take this moment to say... I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... (Again, King Dedede's growl drowns out Sailor Dee.)

(Galacta Knight looks to one side of the chair, then to the other and sees King Dedede.)

Galacta Knight: Who are you?! What are you doing here?!

Galacta Knight: (Very scared and backing away from the advancing King Dedede) I... I... I was lost in the woods and... (stares at King Dedede)

King Dedede: (Advancing on him) You are not welcome here!

Galacta Knight: I... I'm... I'm sorry.

King Dedede: What are you staring at?

Galacta Knight: (Cowering under King Dedede) Noth-noth-nothing! (Turns to leave)

King Dedede: (Racing around and blocking the entrance with surprising speed) So, you've come to stare at the beast, have you?

Galacta Knight: Please, I meant no harm! I just needed a place to stay...

King Dedede: I'll give you a place to stay!

Galacta Knight: Oh! Please! No, no! (King Dedede picks up Galacta Knight, carries him out of the room and slams the door, plunging the den, along with Sailor Dee, Bandana Dee, Morpho Knight, and Kirby into darkness. Fade out.)