Make You Feel My Love

Funerals and Master Plans

The emptiness in Abigail's heart was physically painful. Every single part of her body was in pain. She felt like she couldn't move. And the further the day progressed, the more despondent she became.

     At the funeral, Abigail couldn't bring herself to look up at the wooden coffin. Her swollen eyes were clouded, stuck staring at the grass on the ground. She couldn't cry anymore. Her body wouldn't let her.

     And she didn't hear a single word that was said to her. It didn't matter if it was Maverick, her mom, Rooster, Hangman. She couldn't. The only thing she was hearing was her father's voice, mentally torturing her. It was in her head, she would never hear his voice again. Never hug him again. And because Rooster had forgotten what his mother sounded like, Abigail knew that one day she would forget her father's too.

     The gunshots make her flinch, pulling her out of the frozen phase she was in. "Ready, aim, fire!" A Captain shouts, more gunshots going off. F-18s fly overhead. Maverick walks over and hands the folded flag to her mother, then solutes her. He steps in front of Abigail, a tear drops from his eye. He nods to her and returns to his place. 

     After the funeral, people started leaving for work or to go home. Abigail didn't move from her place, holding the rose someone had put in her hand. She didn't remember who or when, but there was a red rose in her hand. She sniffles and walks towards the unburied grave, the wooden coffin in its place. And she finds it in herself to let out a small sob as she drops the rose down in there with him.   

       Hangman steps up beside her, wearing his formal navy uniform. "You're probably not listening, Abby, we've all tried talking to you today. If you don't want to talk, then that's okay. But I will be here, I'm not gonna leave you to suffer alone."

    Abigail closes her eyes, leaning her head against his shoulder. Hangman wraps his arm around her waist, standing there as long as she needs. "Thank you, Jake." She says quietly. Abigail couldn't be more grateful to have people that care, she knows she won't be alone. And she knows her dad will always be with her, even if he's not standing with her physically.

     A few hours later, Abigail was called into work by Cyclone. She was desperate to get out of her mother's house, desperate to get away from her childhood memories, so she went.

     Abigail stands in Cyclone's office, her back straight and arms pinned to her sides. She really tried her best to look professional, but the ice cubes weren't helping the swollen eyelids.

     "I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now, Lieutenant. Take some time. Whatever you need." Cyclone says, for the first time he doesn't sound strict and professional. Abigail hated that, she wanted more than anything for something to just be normal. No more pity, no more depressing looks. She needs to do something.

     "Sir, I appreciate the offer, but I really would much rather be preparing for the mission. I can't listen to my mom cry anymore. I can't sit in my childhood bedroom and not think about the story books my dad read me at bedtime. I need to be here, doing what I normally do. Doing what I love." Abigail pleads, her tears all dried out. No more.

     Cyclone sighs, adjusting the computer mouse on his desk. "I understand, Lieutenant Kazansky, but this is not an offer. They are orders."

     "Sir-"

     "That will be all. Go home and hug your mom."
—

     That night the house was quiet, Sarah Kazansky had cried herself to sleep in her husband's closet, her arms wrapped tightly around the dirty clothes that smelled just like him.

      Not a single light inside was on, except for the small desk light in Iceman's office. Abigail sat in the leather spinny chair that she had spun around on for a majority of her youth. She had her arms crossed on the desktop, her head resting on them like a pillow. She was listening to the vintage grandfather clock tick, each tick symbolizing yet another second without her dad on this planet.

      A knock on the opened door made her nearly jump out of her skin. Her head darts to the doorframe, where a frazzled Maverick is standing. "How did you..." Abigail questions, watching him hold out his hand, a key hung on a ring. "Key to the house. He gave it to me 20 years ago and I've never used it until today."

    Abigail nods softly, easing into the back of the worn-down chair. She doesn't know what to say, and neither does he. They just stare at each other until Maverick pulls up a chair to sit beside her. He gets deja vu of the conversation he had with Iceman in here a few days prior.

      Tapping her fingers  on the wooden desktop, Abigail sighs. "They benched me. Won't let me do my job." She mutters, the vein on her forehead popping out. Her dad did the same thing when he was mad. Maverick nods, clicking his tongue. "They said I was done, kicked me out." He reveals. "But it's not going to stop me. I need your help, and I'm asking you because I know you can do it."

     Abigail sends him a curious look, but sits up straight in her seat to show that she was listening.

    "Cyclone is changing the parameters. Time to target is four minutes, and you know that gives the enemy time to kill them. He won't let them exceed 420 knots. No steep g-climbs, he changed the plans entirely. Now, you and I both know that if he isn't stopped, the people that get sent out are going to die."

     Abigail catches onto what Maverick has planned. "You want to prove that this mission can be done the way you say it will." She nods to herself. "I've never done the course, and I haven't done the steep g-climb. Why do you think I can do it?" She questions, crossing her arms.

    Maverick smirks. "Because you're your father's daughter. So, Abigail Kazansky, will you steal two F-18s and fly as my wingman tomorrow?"

      She smiles. "Hell yeah."