The Brothel [Draken - Tokyo Revengers]

Chapter 34: Dejected and Angry

I really wish I went to Misaki-san's funeral that day, not because of Draken but because I wanted to see her one last time, all I have now are regrets.

"It's all my fault," I continued to rant, "I couldn't do anything right for Draken, all I ever do is mess up. I wish you were here instead of me, I wish you were with Draken right now instead of me--,"

Do I really wish that? 

No, I don't wish for Emma to be with Draken,

"Actually, no," I mumbled lowly, "If anyone deserves to be with Draken, shouldn't it be me?"

I've loved Draken for so long, so why does Emma have to be the one for him? What did she do? What didn't I do for Draken that he chose Emma over me?

I don't wish to be the one dead, 

I've worked so hard for Draken and I deserve to be the one he wants,

The anger and frustration inside of me were overwhelming, it feels like darkness was consuming me at that moment. 

I grabbed the bouquet from in front of the gravestone and was about to throw it at the Sano family grave, I was so ready to let out all my anger and resentment towards my relationship with Draken on Emma, but I froze at the very moment I was about to throw the flowers,

What am I even doing?

Emma's dead and she hasn't even done anything wrong, 

"What is wrong with me?" I asked as I placed the flowers back down on the grave, "I just want to be with Draken,"

After about 20 minutes of contemplating my life choices, self-loathing, and self-pity, I heard footsteps coming my way,

"Draken?" I snapped out of my trance and turn to face the individual who was approaching the grave,

It wasn't Draken,

"Haru-chan, long time no see!" Mikey said as he arrived at the cemetery with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, he had the same short haircut he had when we were in middle school, 

"Mikey-kun, you're looking good," I said as I got up from my seat and bowed slightly, greeting the former Toman leader,

"Really? Baji said I look old for my age," Mikey joked, "So, how are you doing? You don't look so well,"

"I've been sick this past few weeks," I reasoned, "But I think I'm going to get better soon, nothing to worry about,"

"Does Ken-chin know?" By the looks of it, he's aware that Draken and I aren't on good terms with each other, "I can call him right now,"

"No, it's okay, we're kind of not talking anyway," I told him embarrassingly, "I'm assuming he told you?"

"He did," He responded lowly, "But I'm not here to judge, I hope you two would work things out, I am rooting for the two of you after all," 

"That means a lot," I responded with a small bow of gratitude,

"Thank you for looking after Ken-chin," He said as he approached Sano family grave and placed his bouquet on the gravestone, "I'm sure Emma appreciates everything you do for Draken too,"

"You think so?" I responded shyly, feeling slightly guilty that I was about to thrash Emma's grave just a few minutes ago,

Draken mentioned before that Mikey was okay with us dating but actually hearing Mikey say he was supporting us hits different, I was so close to tears, it feels like someone was appreciating everything I was doing for Draken,

but then again, if Draken doesn't see it then what's the point? But it was still nice to know someone is rooting for us, for me,

"Mitsuya and I are meeting Ken-chin tomorrow, do you want to come?" Mikey offered, "I'll make sure you two are going to fix whatever it is you two are going through,"

"Thank you but I don't want to back Draken up in a corner, I want him to talk to me when he's ready," I told Mikey who nodded in response, 

Plus I had that doctor's appointment tomorrow,

...

Draken's POV:

I haven't talked to Haru for almost 3 weeks now and I've always felt extremely bad for ignoring her but I can't help but feel angry about what she did, she missed the funeral of someone important to us.

She went to her mother's funeral but missed Misaki-san's, it's kind of upsetting that she would neglect the person who practically took care of her as she grew up,

But I miss her...

I miss being with her,

I miss hearing her voice,

I miss seeing her smile,

I miss her touch,

I miss everything about her,

I know ignoring her for 3 weeks is a bit too much, but I just wanted to make sure about something. I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision,

I was supposed to meet Mikey and Mitsuya today but I decided to drop by Emma first,

"It feels like I haven't dropped by in forever," I said as I was lighting some incense, I noticed 2 bouquets that were placed on the grave, and by the looks of it, it wasn't from today, maybe yesterday?

I could guess that the other one was from Mikey but who gave the 2nd bouquet? 

"I haven't dropped by ever since Haru and I stopped talking," I started off, "I wanted to sort out my feelings, these 3 weeks were hard, it was hard not to see you but it was harder not see Haru,"

"Ken-chin! I knew you'd be here!" Mikey said, interrupting my one-sided conversation with Emma, 

"Yo~" Mitsuya greeted as well as he arrived with Mikey,

"Oh, hey," I responded as I got up from my squatting position to face them, "I was just about to leave,"

"Where are you going? Aren't we going out for lunch with Baji and Pah-chin?" Mitsuya asked, I turned my head slightly to look at Emma's gravestone one last time,

"I was planning on visiting Haru," I told them which kind of surprised the two,

These past 3 weeks, all I did was work non-stop, I didn't contact Haru nor did I visit Emma during that time.

I wanted to see where my heart is now because honestly, I wasn't so sure myself. I loved Emma and I probably still do but I know for a fact now that I couldn't live without Haru, the 3 weeks spent without her were the darkest days of my life, I have never felt this empty since Emma died,

This will be the last time I'll visit Emma,

I love Haru and I don't want to waste any more time,

I don't care if I can't pay off the shop--

"I'm going to ask Haru to marry me, right now," I told Mikey and Mitsuya,