Sector 10

Chapter 19

Sean clasped onto his breast. Crimson blood spread from underneath his hand and stained his shirt. He staggered to the ground, glaring at me as I dropped the gun. It clattered to the ground and I slowly walked to Jon. I dug my fingers into his shirt and rested my forehead on his chest.

"I'm so sorry. I should've stopped doing this job earlier. The only reason I was at your house last night was because I was meant to kill you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. I swear what Sean said isn't true. I swear I'll be better. I'll stop killing people." The apologies uncontrollably gushed out of my mouth. I was going to continue but Jon stopped me. He lifted my head to meet his eyes.

"It's okay," he whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I wrapped mine around him. We both looked out towards the rest of the Sector and felt the cool wind on our faces. "You had it rough," Jon said, "I know that now. You were forced into a terrible state of living and the only option given was to accept. I can't blame you. No one can. Not here."

I gazed upon the city, upon all the high-rises, all the lights. I saw moving dots of people in the distance. I watched as a monorail sped and laced through masses of buildings before disappearing into the ground. I imagined all the suffering that was currently going on, under and above ground. I imagined all the little joys that people were currently experiencing. I imagined Lila and her friend, chattering away.

I pulled away and paced back from Jon, meeting his gaze. "Jon, if I-"

My vision stopped me from continuing. In my peripheral, I caught sight of movement. Sean had crawled to where my gun was, leaving a trail of thick blood behind him. Still on the ground, he held it in his hands and had it aimed at Jon. "Curse you and your wretched family," he growled. Fiery anger engulfed his eyes and with his final breath, he pulled the trigger.

Before Jon realised what was happening, I had already taken the bullet for him.

I dashed in front of him and watched Sean's head drop to the ground after fulfilling his final wish. I stood there for a few seconds, comprehending what had happened. I slowly turned around and saw Jon's horrified and unbelieving expression. Then the pain started to peak. Squeezing my eyes shut, I clutched my stomach and fell off balance. Jon caught me with strong but wavering arms and knelt down.

"No, no, no, no, no. This isn't happening," he mumbled. His face scrunched up in anguish. I wouldn't be able to count the times he continued to say "no" with my fingers.

My jumper was soaked with blood. When I pulled my hand away to see the wound, it lifted up with thick red blood dripping down from my wrist. Jon clasped onto my hand and laid it back on top of the wound. My breathes became short and wheezy. There was a searing pain in my stomach, and it started to spread throughout my torso. The bullet must've hit a vital organ; I was going to die.

"Ai? Ai! Can you hear me?" As I slowly lost my grip on life, Jon's voice became muffled, but the desperation and sorrow in his voice was clear. "Ai! Please stay with me. Don't leave me..."

I controlled my breathing as best as I could and looked at the sky one last time. I saw the stars. For the first time, I finally saw the stars. From the floor, the city lights always outshone the stars, making them impossible to perceive. But here, they were visible. And I could distinguish constellations. So many constellations. The moon beamed from overhead and cast a natural light upon us. Then clouds started to form. Clouds in the sky and clouds in my vision.

"Ai! Look at me, Ai! PLEASE LOOK AT ME!" Jon cried, his head lowering and his shoulders shaking.

I pulled my faltering hand out from underneath his and rested it on his cheek. I satisfied his desire and looked him in the eyes. I saw the fear. I saw the despair. I could only take a limited amount of air in each breath when I said, "I'm glad... that I was able to save someone... in the end."

Jon dug his head in my shoulder and wept.

Then it went dark.

It was empty. The space around me was pitch black. I thought I was alone until I stepped back. From underneath my shoe, I felt something squishy, yet firm. I turned around and saw a horrific sight. Spotlighted in a single beam, piles upon piles of bodies lay in one big heap. I recognised syndicate members, a few hackers, and magnates. I gasped. The thing that I stepped on was, in fact, a hand. I woozily strayed a few steps behind. Many of their eyes were still open. If there was any emotion to be seen at all, it was either shock or anger. Many of them had bullet holes in their heads, others had slits in their necks. But instead of seeing blood and flesh from inside the punctures, there was only inky darkness. Just black cavities ingrained into their bodies. These were the people I killed.

Was Mei somewhere in there?

"Monster."

I heard Jon's voice, but I couldn't see him. I frantically looked around. But just like my dreams, looking for out-of-reach people was hopeless. Then a chorus of different voices started. Jon degrading me. Sean praising me for terrible deeds. Mǔqīn scolding me. Mei screaming and crying. The vexed outcries of my victims.

I clamped my hands over my ears. But it was utterly useless.

"Stop," I whispered. "Please stop."

Through the hellish noise, I heard doors in the distance open. A bright light shone from behind me and wind sent hair flying in front of my face. It was black. My hair was midnight black.

And it had gone silent.

With a stooped back, I looked behind me. Enveloped in the overbearing light from the indiscernible opened doors, all I could see was a silhouette of a womanly figure walking towards me. When she got closer, I could see her better. She had flowing brown hair and gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Bree?" I breathed.

She smiled at me. Her eyes drifted from me to the bodies behind me and back again. Lightly gripping onto my shoulder, she steered me towards the light. I squinted when we were fully immersed, and I heard the doors shut behind us. This place was almost exactly like the one before. The only difference was the whiteness of the place and the girl.

She stood a few feet in front of us and looked almost exactly like me. I fell to my knees and wailed into my hands. My nails dug into my forehead and I sat there, howling and snivelling. I heard her featherweight footsteps come closer to me. With her delicate hands, she took mine away from my face. She then placed her own on both of my cheeks and raised my head high enough to look her in the eyes.

"Jiějiě, it's ok. It wasn't your fault," she said.

She wasn't in the pile. It wasn't me. Even more tears escaped my eyes as I looked into hers. Innocent and wide. I pulled her into hug and let out a long sigh of solace that I had been holding in for so many years.

---

I once wondered what would happen to Jon if I were put in a more consequential situation. I guess... my hesitation killed me. No, it wasn't hesitation. It was complete defiance. Why did I choose Jon's life over mine? I wasn't able to be there for my sister in time, but he can be there for his. He had much more to live for than I did.

Jonathan if you're reading this, I hope you are well. I am in Sector 2, alive. You should come.