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It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. They have no scar to show from happiness. But at the end, nothing hurts a person more than fragments of their own happiness. And to them happiness is nothing more than a dream.
Dream, with musky sheets and cuddled warm limbs, unspoken words and intertwined breaths as their companions. He paints constellations into her skin with kisses then trace it with his calloused hands, and she sings him songs of heavenly delight. In the midst of it all, they learn to admire one another for what they are.
Both are flawed individuals, yet together they fit like jigsaw pieces to form an unparalleled vision of beauty, creating a world that exists just for the two of them. They only share simple emotions like their tears and laughter. It's unnecessary for sweet nothing to convey their feeling as their relationship is only fueled by carnal desire. Whether their feeling reciprocates with each is up for heaven to answer, for to dwell on this question is a foolish endeavour.
Ahhh how he wishes to go back to that time, to those days when the space that they made for each other still exist, to those moments when they can say anything without getting abandoned and unwarp the worst things they have done. Watch them hold it up to the light and not even flinch.
But the happy memories that she left have a craved a painful scar. So painful he begs to follow the reaper into the unknown. To where he can finally meet her again and told her how much he missed her.
....................
Time moves differently in hospitals. The day is lengthy and unstructured, marked solely by the changes of IV bag, medication schedule, and so forth. The smell of hospitals is like small talk at a funeral and he hates it. There's one time when he woke up from nightmare feelings alone in the darkness of the hospital room, he crumbled in loneliness. And his sob was accompanied by no other than the low-pitched sound of the air conditioner. When all of sudden he falls into a warm embrace.
"Are you having a nightmare?" He didn't answer. He only hears her heartbeats, it's euphonious and calms him down, serenading him back to sleep. That was the night after they got the news that they lose their elder, the man that has been a father figure for him. His hand, which was tethered by peripheral IV, was cold and bruised, but she held onto his hand the entire night hoping it to at least bring comfort to the miserable man.
When he awoke the following morning, he knocked on the vase containing her favourite flower. He undoubtedly despises how the withering violet bloom reminds him of how long the one he cherishes has been gone. She spent a week beside him in silence, hiding her presence as much as she can to give him space to grieve.
When the sun set his gaze is locked on the horizon, face bathed by the lingering orange glow before night calls the stars. The lights in his eye are finally back, clearing the fog that has left him in a daze for a week. His lips form a half-smile, suggesting that he is reconciled with his thoughts, whatever they may be. Yeri leans closer so that he feels her presence, yet stays quiet, allowing him to stay lost in the moment for a little longer.
