𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗻𝗶𝗮

Chapter 10:

It was unpleasat to sleep in that motel, but sice we were upstairs, I must say I felt safer. Given that today Minato was supposed to be on guard, just so I can sleep too incase if I needed to drive, but right away he fell asleep. 

No, I'll change my answer, the others fell asleep, not me. I was awake and started to feel that everything was spinning around me. I had a displeasing feeling and felt like I was nauseous. However, I didn't feel that anything of any kind of thing wanted to come out of me, I just felt horrible and nauseous. It's a bit incomprehensible, but I assume everyone has experienced it once. 

I thought that if the night wasn't going to help me with anything, maybe I could go out and sit on the roof. The sunrise would surely calm me down. I couldn't say that I was right about many things, but as I reached the high roof, the stairs had quite a calming effect on me. I sat down behind the motel sign and just looked out of my head for a moment. I had nothing in my mind. 

The next moment I found myself hearing voices and I was pretty sure someone had followed me up to the roof. My calmness didn't last long, because only Toshi came after me. The boy looked  at me then at the stars and after a moment he was already sitting next to me. The silence between us had a strange effect on me, I tought he would speak up and talk all night long. But he just kept quiet for a while. Then slow and steady he looked at me. 

- I know how you feel about it. But I think if you tell me something about your "old" life, you might calm down.

- I can tell you anything and you'll let me just... talk? - I asked quietly still looking at the stars. 

- Yeah. 

- Let it be anything then. Without further ado Taki and I were a perfect couple, but if I have to guess you already figured it out. Seeing him again made me realize how messed up our lives were. I was surprised we even got together after all. He was my first love really, and his presence caused a little storm in my mind. Then again if it wasn't because of my bad home life, we wouldn't even got together and wouldn't even had anything in common. I mean he understood why I hated my stepdad and why I despised him even though he practically raised me but still decided to hurt and slap me many times. Then again, we went our separate ways and I get to know you more. And get to know you more through Mahoro too. And I feel like if I never get it out, I might go crazy. I liked you Toshi. Really. I liked how you cared about me and how similar you were to Taki and how comforting your hugs were. I needed someone to let go of Taki but you made me realize I'm not completely over him and not completely over you either. I'm sorry but I needed to tell you. And I don't wanted to brag about my problems I just needed someone to talk to and to let it all out. - somehow when I ended my speech I noticed how my gazed shifted towards him even after I didn't wanted to see him. 

- Honestly I'm not sure how to react because in some cases you need to tell me how you feel because I could not understand. But that's great that you told me. Still I don't know what to say and how things will proceed after this. We could talk about it after things have settled. - he said and after he finished he glanced at me quickly and then his eyes went back to the stars. 

- Okay if you say so. It was just a simple conversation, it needed to come out. And you can always ask me to tell you how others feel, because I know you're not good at reading the room or people. 

- Thanks. I think I'll go back just to sleep a little bit. - he sighed and then got up. He stopped for a moment and when I looked up to see what's going on, I realized he proceeded to catch my gaze. I blushed but thanks to the dark he probably couldn't see it. 

- Umm, do as you wish. I'll stay. 

~*~

I didn't think much, I just stared and tried to somehow relax sitting up on the roof. Later I also went back to our room and quietly sat down in the corridor and thought for a moment.