The Baker And The Queen Pin

Chapter 54: Guilty

"Emotional manipulation gets you nowhere, Maria. What happened to your father?" It's then that she started breathing quickly as she then said, 'I, I killed him.' And that's when my heart sank low, lower than I thought I could ever feel. "That answers all of my questions. You're not the woman I fell in love with. You're not the woman that loves me for who I am." Tears begin to flow down her face, 'I've always appreciated you and loved you. I even love you now.'

"How can you love me at all?" I say to her. My pride was wounded in so many ways and it's then that she says, 'Because my hands weren't bloodstained when I paid off the bakery. My hands weren't bloodstained when you needed me.' "So, you're throwing your money at me?" As I began to pull my ring off and put it on the table, I say to her, "Even without the bakery, even without everything, I still would have found a way to keep moving. I still would have found a way to live."

It's then that a tear begins to fall down her face, 'Yes, but would it be worth living?' She says, looking at the ring. 'Everything we've gone through, everything we've done was not fair to you. With money, I made things right. I was able to make our life better.' As she says this, I find myself, getting angry. "Blood money does not make anything better." 'Blood money pays the bills, blood money does everything it needs to do. Yes, so a few pieces of shit get hurt but what about the people who are forced into it? The people I have to pay off or disappear, and all the messes I have to clean up. I don't justify what I've done but at least, I know what I'm doing. I know what I have to do and I know how much money I've made doing it.'

"So, you're fine with being a killer?" Her eyes looked down in sadness as she says, 'Everything that I have done was the worst thing in the world up until I met you. Then I realized I had someone to do it for, someone to be around, and someone to love. You made me feel like the best woman in the world when you hold me so I do not regret doing all the things I do now because I met a man who would love me despite all my flaws. I believed I met a man who would love me despite all my flaws.'

"Then tell me the truth, Maria. How much blood do you really have on your hands? How much innocent blood is on your hands?" 'More than enough.' She says, calmly, 'But I can stop all of that if you want me to. Please Booker, just please don't leave your ring, and please just promise that you'll talk to me.' I look at tears going down her face as I begin to get up. "I can't make that promise, Maria." It's then that she says, 'Why?' Her eyes sad and focused.

"Because how can I be in a relationship with a liar who never cared about how I felt?" As a single tear begins to fall down my face, I walk toward the door of her mansion and something catches me by surprise. I see Gregor and Gregory, their eyes locked on me as I hear Maria say, 'Let him pass,' in a gentle sobbing voice. As I begin to leave, I realize that I didn't even hear them come in and I was sure I locked the door behind me.

'You're a good man.' I hear Gregor whisper. As I got to my car and pulled out and make y way down the long road, I start crying. I abandoned the love of my life for some morals.

~~~Maria

As I sit, thinking about him, I think about what he's done and I think about what he's chosen and all I could think about was my heart being ripped out all over again, my soul being wounded all over again. I lost the love of my life, maybe the only man I would ever love because I didn't tell him the truth. Would it have been better?

As the night rolled into the morning, I could still only find myself, thinking about him. The only man that knew how to make me feel good, the only man that knew how to make me feel sane, and now he was gone. How was this fair? I asked myself this question over and over again and each time, the answer was still the same. It wasn't.

He was the only man that I loved, he was the only man that I've trusted in a long time. Who was I to deny him the truth? Who was I to pretend that he didn't have feelings? The pain I felt completely made me fall apart. Without him, who was I? Yes, I was a powerful woman. Yes, I was one of the most wealthiest people in Maryland but with him, I was just Maria.

I was just his wife, I was special to him but I was still his wife, his fiance, and his girlfriend. All I could think about was how he made me feel, how he made me feel safe and small. It was then that I got a text message from Keisha and then a call but all I could be bothered to do was ignore it.

I didn't even look at the message and then another call came on . As I forced myself to answer the phone, all I could say was "What?" in a tired voice. 'Have you seen Booker?' I hear her ask in a timid voice. Before I could say anything rude, I shut myself down as I said, "Why would I have seen him?" All she could say to me was, 'He hasn't gone back to the apartment and he hasn't gone back to his regular house.' Of course, he hasn't gone back to the apartment. For one, he doesn't live in that apartment and for two, he lives in one of my apartments, but she doesn't need to know that.

"I haven't seen or heard from him since that day," I say to her, flatly. 'Well, his phone keeps going to voicemail. Do you know anything about that?' I take a deep sigh as I say, "No." 'Okay.' She says, shyly, 'If it's any consultation, I'm sorry-' I end the call right there, unbothered, uncaring.

Why would she even think to call me after she tried to sabotage my relationship? Again, the truth of the matter is that I only sabotaged myself. I failed our relationship by not being honest. Had I just told him the truth, had I just accepted what he would have chosen, it would have been different maybe.

It's then that tears well up in my eyes. Who the fuck am I kidding? He would have never gone for that. On top of that, I did everything I could to stop him from finding out the truth, paying off people to keep him from knowing the truth. I love him but I know what I did. I lied and I didn't intend on telling him the truth.

It's then that I get another call and I see the person whose calling. Veronica? I need to get ready to answer the phone and at that moment as I pick up the call, I hear her say, 'It's time for you to start moving around. You haven't left your house in days.' As I begin to get up, I found myself, completely upset with everything, completely lost in this world and then I answer as I say, "Yes. It is time to start moving forward. Thank you." I say to her. 'No problem. Have a nice night.' I look outside to see the moon is already out, I forgot how quickly days went by in the winter.

The truth of the matter is this: I am guilty of many things. Lying happens to be the biggest thing I'm guilty of when it comes to my personal life.

End of Chapter 54: Guilty