The Beautiful You

Five - I Could Fall In Love

Amory and I were seated outside the dorms along with the rest of the class, waiting for Mr. Rogers to tell us to come back inside for roll call. Amory rested his back on the grass, his blonde hair flopping back, leaving his forehead exposed. He had long hair for an athlete. Usually, the soccer team shaves their heads. I hope they don't make him do that. My eyes wandered to his lips. The bruise on his upper lip almost shone in the moonlight.

"You can take a picture of me if you want," he teased. I looked back down at my shoes feeling embarrassed. I didn't know I was staring for so long.

"Sorry," I said.

"I don't mind," he said. "You should look up at the stars. They look the best during this time of year."

I laid down next to him and stared at the darkened sky. Stars were something I could never understand. They were beautiful to look at, but there was something about them I just didn't get.

"There's something about the night sky that makes life feel fake," he said.

"Yeah, they're pretty. They look almost unreal," I said.

"Can you see constellations?" Amory asked.

"No, there is way too many for me to even sort any out," I said.

"I'll show you," Amory said. He moved himself closer to me. I flinched as I felt his arm and leg against my side. He pointed at the first constellation he saw and moved his head closer to mine.

"This is Orion, it's the first one that I see. See that weird looking one with the orange color, kind of red. That star is called Betelgeuse," he said.

I tried to pay attention to the sky but all I could focus on was having him so close to me. Was it because he was practically a stranger to me? I mean I knew him, but not like I knew Lee or Jackson. They were my friends, and Lee was always touchy. I was used to it, but it felt weird to have Amory this close to me, I wanted him to be closer.

"How do you know so much about stars?" I asked.

"I guess it's a hobby of mine. You know the universe, space, and time stuff. It's not that interesting, but looking at stars kind of puts it all into perspective," he said.

"How pointless it all is?" I said. He turned his head to face me and smiled. Up close his bruises looked worse, regardless of that, his face stayed handsome.

He gently shook his head.

"No, the opposite. It makes me realize how amazing it is to be alive. To be able to exist in an infinite universe," He said. "Even if it's just for a moment."

I stayed silent.

"You probably think I'm cringe. I don't always sound like a Hallmark card. Just nights like these make me feel happy," he said turning his head back to the stars.

"I just haven't heard anyone be so positive... I use to think like that. I wish I could go back. You know, to the old me," I said.

He chuckled and placed his hands behind his head  continuing to stare up. I couldn't turn away from him. There was something about his gaze, his demeanor, and his face that kept my eyes glued to him.

"You know, when I was back at my old school I got into a lot of fights. As you could tell," he said touching his lip. " I hated it there. I felt like I was fighting for so long. I couldn't help but blame everyone and everything. But getting to start over...I just want it to be good. So, I'm going to try and be more positive," he said.

Say something, I thought, Anything you idiot.

"Well, I'm sure you'll like it here. You're already popular, so life's going to be easy from here on out. Usually, the guys in varsity seem to be having the time of their lives. They go to all the parties, have all the friends, are the smartest and get all the girls," I said.

I wonder why Jackson stuck with us.

"Yeah..." He murmured. He turned his head over to look at me again and smiled.

"Apollo, you're pretty nice. I don't know why people are giving you a hard time," he said.

"People just don't know how to mind their own business," I said. He nodded and turned back to the sky smiling.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask this, but why do people call you Levi? Is that your actual name?" I asked.

He shook his head and continued to stare off into space. "No, Levi is my middle name. I told people to call me by that."

"Oh, Sorry. I've been calling you by the wrong name. I just thought that's what you—"

"No, it's okay. You can keep calling me Amory. I don't mind," he said.

I nodded.

"Hey, Apollo?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you always stare at people for a long time?"

I quickly turned away from him feeling flustered. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and cleared my throat. How long had I been looking at him?

"Sorry, I just—"

"It's okay. You're not so bad to look at either," he said smiling.

I smiled at the stars, and he continued to point out the constellations and planets. I liked being around him. It felt natural. It was the first time in months that I felt like myself. I wanted to keep this feeling alive, and maybe Amory could help me with that. He was the only person in the entire school who didn't know anything about me or my friends. One person who didn't pity me. Someone who actually talked to me because I was me.

Realistically, Amory would probably forget about us after this trip, but I wanted to hold onto this feeling for as long as I could. I know he'll be out of reach by the time we go back to school, but it was nice to smile with him.

It was also nice to look at him.