Wanted

Chapter 31

Chamberlain was a remarkable man. A Colonel who was promoted to brigadier general on his death bed in which he didn't die. A hero who was awarded a medal of honour, and who was not only respected but also liked by his fellow men, and not only by those in command either but also those he commanded down to the lowest foot soldier. 

Jeremiah had often used his knowledge of the man to make his teachings about war more palpable for John. Having been wounded in the same battle they got to know each other while they were recovering in the same military hospital. For that short period before they both returned to their duty, based on their mutual love of languages, teaching and studying itself, they had become friends of sorts, as far as this was possible between army men of almost opposing rank. It had been the first time since the death of his wife he allowed his mind to take a break from the killing and questioned what he was doing and think of other things such as literature and art.

It was the first time he took stock and really took in that despite his inexperience and the concept of violence being so alien to him at first, despite that he threw himself at every mission the riskier the better, despite having tempted death at so many occasions, he had managed to survive against all odds, and contrary to what he claimed to everyone else, he was glad of it.

At that stage he had put it down to luck. The Luck of the Irish, his fellow soldiers, subordinates and superiors alike, liked to agree. And luck of course had something to do with it, but also the fact that right from the start he had men around him that taught him well and looked out for him, men that had his back. Not out of selflessness of course, at least not at the beginning, but because someone like him, with no regard for anything else but their own pain and no skills either was a liability to those around him, especially when given rank only because of his social status and nothing else. Men like him who didn't seem to mind having their head shot off were only useful to have around when they volunteered only themselves and not those who were compelled to follow him. And from the beginning he made it clear that despite having a death wish he didn't like the idea of him and his fellow men being cannon fodder and little else, even though that this was clearly what they were. He didn't mind going down, but he also wanted to make a difference and take as many enemies as possible with him for as long as they could. With that in mind, he was willing to listen to and learn from those around him who were more experienced in the art of killing than him. With every time he yet again dodged that bullet that was surely meant for him, the more enemy lives he took, the more regard he gained among the small group of men he fought alongside and was supposed to lead into their certain death. A fearless readiness to sacrifice his own life to safe that of another, which had him jump into every melee and in vicious defence of a fellow soldier with little to no regard for his own life, was the reason why they were happy to fight alongside him and have his back, in the hope that if nothing else at least his luck would rub off on them.

Others would have been proud of it, but he was not.

If Chamberlain had indeed become his brother's father-in-law, it would make for an interesting reunion, Jeremiah thought, as he allowed his thoughts to wander back to his brother and look forward to seeing him again.

It seemed silly now never having returned home to them. Unsurprisingly his father had quoted the Bible, when he asked for his forgiveness even though he did not know what he had done wrong. How could he? Since, he had done nothing wrong. 

His father told him he'd be forgiven too, for whatever Jeremiah thought to have done wrong on him or anyone else. He told him there was nothing in the world that his second oldest son could have possibly done that he would not be able to forgive. All it needed was for him to share his perceived sin with his father, for he had no idea what it was he was supposed to forgive.