Wanted

Chapter 11

"I need to at least try," John replied in a meek tone to Alfred's assertion that running away and trying to find his parents on his own was as Alfred put it, a hare-brained idea.

"And where exactly do you think, you are going to look for them? Have you any idea how big this country is? You're mad if you think you can just go looking for them and find them just like that," Alfred said.

John shrugged his shoulders and looked defiantly at the older boy.

"Well, I won't find them at all if I let them lock me up on some stupid farm," he countered.

"No one is going to lock you up, John," Alfred tried to reassure him with a kind tone.

"What would you know?" John asked, irritated by the older boy's ignorance. The first thing the Blacksmith had pointed out when he showed him where he was supposed to sleep, was the chamber pot and the lock on the door, telling him that he'd be locked up during the night. The beating he got from him was as much for trying to run away within the first hour of being in the man's forge as for having bitten him the day before. On the farms they didn't need to lock him up. They had his little brothers. He didn't want to leave, no matter how mean they were to him, and they knew it.

"Jeremiah said he'll make sure you get a good family this time," Alfred tried to pacify him.

"Bullshit," John contradicted him, getting louder and with tears in his eyes he continued, "good families don't want the likes of me. Ask your Pa," which made all of them but Alfred look down at their feet.

"I don't want no family anyway," he said in a defeated tone but then quickly recovered and rebelliously added, "I have one, and I am going to get them back, you'll see. My Ma is probably out there looking for me right now."

"John. You need to put that thought right out of your head," Alfred tried to convince him, he had listened to his parents and Jeremiah hypothesising where the boy had come from and what might have happened to his mother. He didn't want to entertain the boy's false hopes. "Your Ma gave you up. She wasn't able to look after you and that has not changed or she would have tried to get you back before now," he argued and then added the final blow, "Pa said they wouldn't have been allowed to bring you out here had she tried to get you back or not signed off on it. Face it your Ma is not looking for you, John and the sooner you accept it, the better," Alfred said, reasoning the way the adults had done earlier in front of him. He wanted to add that even if he'd find her, it wouldn't change a thing, for his Ma would probably still not be able to look after them, but before he could finish what he wanted to say all hell broke loose.

Of course, Alfred only said what everyone else, including John himself to some extent thought to be true, but this didn't make it any less painful. In fact, it was the last straw. He suddenly was overwhelmed by the pain caused by yet another rejection, that inexplicitly trumped or maybe magnified all the other rejections he had endured since that moment where he had come to the conclusion that his mother was not going to come back for them, when he had to make that painful decision to walk away from the spot where he was told to wait for her return because he needed to get his brothers and himself to a safe place for the night.

Distraught, John launched himself at Alfred in a blind and uncompromising rage.

And Alfred, stunned by the level of violence and force launched at him, had no idea what to do to fend John off. At first, he tried to block John's onslaught, the way he did with his brothers whenever they playfought with him, but John was far too fast for him and also did not hold back. He kicked and hit with full force and knew where to aim to cause most damage. Alfred tried to get a hold of John, to restrain him but this seemed to just rile the younger boy up even further. Whenever Alfred did manage to get somewhat of a hold of John and restrain him for a few moments, John became even more furious and always managed to yank himself free in the end, starting his assault afresh. He bit, spat, pinched, pulled hair, and kicked Alfred in his private area, nothing was of limit. It was as ugly and dirty as every real fight was, so no wonder Alfred had no idea what to do.