PLAY WITH FIRE

CHAPTER 31

HOLDEN KINCAIDE

PRESENT TIME

Scarlett was busy talking and laughing with Melinda and Killian to notice me leaving her side and disappearing up the stairs. I headed down the hall, making my way to the last door on the right, my hand freezing on the door knob. I took a deep breath, twisted it and pushed the door open. 

My heart instantly clenched in my chest, my stomach twisting as I stared at the room that seemed to have frozen in time. Not a single thing out of place since May 24th 2017. Nolan had always enjoyed the simple things, his room projecting that side of him. The only decoration, the only thing that screamed Nolan were the thousands of photos littering the walls of his bedroom. 

Photos of our friend group together, individual photos of us all, a couple landscape photos, photos Nolan took. He'd always loved photography, it was one of his many hidden talents that barely anyone knew of. He wasn't embarrassed of being into photography, not that there was anything to be embarrassed by. Yeah sure, it wasn't seen as a 'manly' thing by the guys at our High School, but that's not why Nolan kept it pretty much to himself. 

He loved having something for himself. He loved being able to see the world and its beauty through different eyes and different lenses. 

My first step into the bedroom I hadn't stood foot in in 5 years instantly put me in a state of relaxation. My shoulders sagged, the tension leaving my body as I stepped into the room I used to practically call mine, I was over here that much. 

Or at least, I felt relaxed to begin with. 

I walked around the room, taking my time observing every single photo Nolan had taken and loved enough to put on his wall. I even recognised some as ones us other guys took when Nolan demanded he be in front of the camera for once. 

Me, Him, Eros, Schmidt and Dean at the park with a football . 

Me, Schmidt and Eros with a sulking Dean in the back . 

Him, Schmidt and Dean, arms thrown over each others shoulders, clad in muddy football gear. 

My smile began to falter. 

Eros and Dean trapping a laughing Scarlett between them at the beach, the day we ditched school after Mitchell put that shit on Scarlett's locker. 

Nolan and Scarlett both staring blankly at the camera, hands in a praying position, the corners of their mouths failing to hide their amusement. 

Me and Scarlett looking at each other. 

There was no hint of a smile on my face anymore. 

Melinda, Killian, Hallie, Nolan and Me, huddled together, smiling like a big happy family. The photo perfectly projected what we were. A happy family. 

A face pressed into my arm, my shoulders tensing. Looking down at my arm, Hallie had her cheek pressed to my forearm, her eyes trained on the photos ahead of us on the wall. I immediately relaxed, lifting a hand to lightly ruffle her hair, a smile spreading across her face as she shoved my hand away, resting her cheek back on my arm. 

"It's his birthday soon" I flinched, not daring to speak a word. We stood in silence for a moment before I felt my long sleeve begin to dampen. Looking down, I don't even think Hallie had realised she'd begun to cry. 

"You know-" She choked. "I still leave the light on for him." Hallie tore pieces of my heart away. 

"I-I still think he's going to come home to us one day" Her voice came out barely a whisper. I closed my eyes, hearing and seeing the way a life without Nolan hurt her, and hating it more than anything.