Chapter 4. Small Victories

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Later that evening, Jackie was sitting in the pub with a glass of cold lemon water in her hand. Her diary lay on a table untouched. She wasn't in the mood for writing, so she kept looking into the beautiful evening sky. She liked watching how it blossomed with the golden and red colors, then the shades faded, and the darkness took over. It was beautiful, like death.

Jackie shivered. She didn't think about death like this since she fell in love. Elisa. Will I ever get over her? When Jackie read her letter, she couldn't believe that she would be able to let her go and focus on her training. In the beginning, it was difficult - waking up and doing her work, pushing her thoughts into the darkest corners of her mind. It made her angry, and she didn't notice how she started playing with Walter. But she wasn't angry anymore. Trevor gave her excellent advice - it was time to take everything into her hands and stop making silly mistakes. And as for Elisa... Well, it had become a bit easier, too. Two months without seeing her face soothed her bleeding heart.

She took a sip from her glass, enjoying its taste. Maybe Elisa was right, and the love that they cared about so much was just temporary insanity. Maybe they both knew nothing about love and life. Well, at least Jackie knew something about death, and now, when the last beam of hope for being together with Elisa faded in her chest, her depressive thoughts had returned. She had to do something about it until the darkness enveloped her.

Someone's hand touched her shoulder, and Jackie raised her eyes. Howard stood over her, smiling.

"Hey," she revealed a weary smile.

"Congrats on the case closure."

"Thank you."

Howard looked around. "Where is Detective Walt?"

"I bet he'll come soon." Jackie sighed. She was waiting for Walter only to have an honest talk, and now, Howard showed up and made everything more complicated. Maybe he will go soon?

Crashing her hope, he sat nearby and put his beer on the table. "You look so upset. Did anything happen?"

Howard looked at her with perplexity, waiting for an answer. Only if she could answer his question. Walter apparently decided to take advantage of her, and there was nothing she could do about it without ruining her reputation. "Better tell me how you are."

"As a regular cadet." He shrugged. "I fill boring reports and mostly spend all day in the archive. No fun."

"I can ask Walter to take you with him on the next night's duty."

"He won't take two cadets."

"I can spend this day in the archive."

"Would he agree?"

"Why not?"

Howard narrowed his eyes. "Why would you do that for me?"

Jackie touched her glass, and the condensate that covered the rim pleasantly cooled her fingertips. "You would do the same for me, right?"

Howard drank his beer and made a gesture to the waitress. The girl came to their table and filled Howard's mug. He put his hand on hers. "Darling, just leave this whole thing with us."

The waitress gave them a curious look. "Of course."

Jackie turned away to the window. Since she had become a cadet and wore her uniform, women stared at her like she was an exotic animal in a zoo. Probably they couldn't understand how to treat her. Jackie wasn't a typical woman in the eyes of modern society, but she wasn't a man either. Maybe she needed to wear a dress as ordinary women did. Actually, she had a couple of dresses in her closet, but she barely used them.

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