Not Your Edgy Bitch (ROTTMNT Donnie X Reader)

Vertigo

"Shhh— they'll be dead in less than a week." I say as I inspect them. Cool— no cameras or bugs planted on it.

"Then why even bother?!" he asks.

I sniff the flowers, "Because they smell too nice to be tossed away!" I joke, "Besides— I never get flowers! I had that vase sitting around for years!"

He rolls his eyes, "You know you could've just brought yourself your own flowers— hell, anyone could've! Even me!"

I chuckle, "Why do you sound jealous?"

He scoffs, "Don't start— me hating on someone so hateable isn't jealousy. There is literally nothing to be jealous of, I am obviously better than them."

"Hm I guess so since I supposedly hate you both and yet, it's you in here and not them."

A soft genuine smirk creeps up on his face. Aw that's adorable.

Before I can comment on it he slaps the shit out of himself.

My eyes widened, "What the fuck did you do that for?!" I ask concerned.

"Sorry— I prohibit such emotions..." he says.

I cock my brow up, "Huh?"

"Don't worry about it." he brushes off.

"Prohibit what emotio—"

"Ah ah ah! I said don't worry about it..."

I roll my eyes. I then realize: "Hey wait, shouldn't you be setting up the security system?"

"Oh I'm not touching the door anymore. Not after they infected it!" he says.

"Ugh, seriously?"

"No— it should be pretty self explanatory that I already finished since I am literally sitting down on your couch. I'm just setting up the remaining system with my advanced tech." he says as he toggles with his tech bracelet thingy.

"Mkay whatever..." I say. My vision then starts to get a bit fuzzy and I notice that I feel woozy. I place both of my hands on the counter tops to keep balance.

Donatello starts babbling, "Oh and to keep creepo away, I have to set this all up on your windows, perhaps I should also test the...." and that's when I tuned him out.

Instead, I focus on the ringing in my ears. What the fuck was going on? I then eye the flowers on the counter.

Oh shit.

I slam my fist onto the table and rattle everything on it, Donatello flinches from my sudden outburst and stops talking.

"THAT FUCKING DEVIOUS PIECE OF SHIT POISONED ME WITH FUMES IN THE FLOWERS!" I shout. I may be dying, but at least I knew exactly what was going on. That was the only possible explanation.

"W-What?" Donatello questions as he stands up and makes his way over to me.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" I ramble as I wobble over to the fridge. I grab a water bottle and chug it down instantly. That should help flush out whatever the fuck got in my system. I throw it on the ground and carefully walk over to my closet.

"Oh wait are you actually serious?" he asks.

"Yes dumbass!" I say as I go inside and gather a few things.

Donatello starts scanning the flowers.

"Hey! Get the hell away from those!" I shout. Last thing I needed was him getting effected too.

He ignores me and analyzes data on his arm, "It appears to be coated with high amounts chlorpyrifos..." he says.

I chuckle mockingly, "They tried to kill me with insecticide?! Me?? An entomologist?? Are they fucking stupid?" I felt insulted by the irony.