Not So Typical

Chapter 31

We sat separated in the backseat, my head leaning on the cold glass and him staring straight forward into the distance. As I glanced out the window at the passing cars and buildings I felt the silent tears begin to fall down my face, my heart had never been this torn before. I let the tears fall down my chin to the front of coat, never brushing them away for fear of making him aware of my distress. I had to play this calmly if I wanted him to make an unbiased decision; one ounce of extreme emotion and I would sway his opinion. I wanted this to be all his decision, it is his life after all and I am only a new, small piece in it.

I took a deep breath as we reached closer to my flat, forcing the tears to stop falling as I sat up and grabbed his hand across the seat. He rubbed across my knuckles with his rough thumb and I felt myself calm down even more, whatever happened next I had to be happy with the time I had, with the genuine love we shared. I had to know that whatever happened next that it would never be goodbye for the two of us.

I headed for front door of the building as Harry and the cab driver removed our two suitcases from the back of the vehicle. I watched him through the glass door, admiring his tall frame and long limbs effortlessly grabbing my heavy bag from the driver, thanking him as he walked away. My sweet, sweet boy.

"Hi, love" he said softly as he stepped inside the building. I smiled in response and began to head towards my flat, keys in hand to open the door for him.

I pushed the door open, not looking behind me as I heard the suitcases hit the floor. The tears were falling and we hadn't said a word. "Get it together Mel" I kept telling myself as I put water in the kettle.

"Melody, look at me." My head automatically perked up at him using my full name, he never did that.

"Harry, I don't know what you want me to say. I don't want you to leave and I can't go with you. There is nothing we can do, the choice is clear."

I twisted the stove knob around to the highest setting and adjusted the kettle on the eye, prolonging looking him in the face as long as I could get away with.

"Just, look at me dammit," he growled quietly.

"There is no need to curse at me Harold," I yelled as I whipped around to face him. His face was sullen but there were tinges of frustration in his eyes.

"Just let me love you. I will take care of you, you know I will. If it takes you weeks, months, years to find a job, I don't care. But you know I need this but I need you just as much. Melody, just please," his voice cracked as he finished speaking. Grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly.

I wanted to go, I did. But I had worked so hard to get the grades necessary to get this job. I couldn't throw it away. If my mother knew that I was even considering throwing away my hard work for a boy, she had taught me to be myself first, to never be the girl that depended on someone else to take care of her.

"Harry, I love you. You know I do so very much, and I really do appreciate that you want to take care of me and one day, one day I will let you. But this is your journey, I can't throw away everything I have worked for and I would never want you to do that for me. We both know this is meant to be and so we will find each other again, but for now if we can't agree to be miles apart and still together, then this just can't work right now. We will have happily ever after one day, I really do believe that."

He dropped my hand and the tears in his eyes dried up instantly, his face as hard as a rock. I braced myself for the anger, for the harsh words I had heard him exchange with Niall, Ed, guys at the clubs, but never with me.

"If that's what you want Melody, I will respect that. I will come back to you but if we are going to end this it is going to be a clean break. I will gather my things and be gone. I start school in August, my program is a three year minimum. If you feel it absolutely necessary or you change your mind, you have my phone number. But if not, we will revisit this upon my graduation. Until we meet again, I wish you the best everything and please, never forget that I love you."

With a chaste kiss and a few minutes of him stumbling around throwing things in bags he was gone.

"You did this for him Melody," I kept repeating in my head all day and I knew I was going to be repeating that for quite a long time.