Why Me? (An Avengers Wrong Number)

Rappin with Cap and Thirst Traps

We in America again, bitches!

I have my mask on, me and Steve devised a plan to prank the Avengers.

This is what happened.

He walks into the meeting room, limping looking half dead.

"Cap, you have one more day. Why are you back?" Tony asks.

"LESS ABOUT THAT, MORE ABOUT THE FACT HE'S DYING!" Bucky yells. "Gah, Verdict probably did this to him. I knock a glass of a counter. I'm in the other room.

I assume they get into battle positions as I slowly walk into the room.

"bonjour, putains de mères. Le capitaine va bien, je vous le promets. ce n'est qu'une farce" I say, tauntingly. (Hello, mother fuckers. Captain is okay, I promise. This is just a prank)

Nat laughs, so does Wanda. Everyone else kind of glances at each other.

Steve jumps up from the floor where he 'fell' and hugs me.

"That was great," he says. I agree.

"Though," I say to everyone, "You might want to do something about the dude in your kitchen."

They run off.

I hear clashing, shouting, and grunting.

Help them

How?

Lead the dude out here. He wants the stone.

Okay, then what?

Tap it

Got it.

"Oi, dipshit! I heard you want the infinity stone. Welp, I have it!" I shout.

A metal dude runs straight at me.

I want to scream but I don't and I somehow calmly tap the necklace.

He vaporizes.

"You guys need like help or something?" I shout at the other Avengers standing in awe in the doorway.

"We're good," someone shouts back.

"Cool," I say pulling out my phone and texting the group chat.

"Why are you texting us? We're literally right here," Tony asks.

"I can't give you YouTube links in real life," I explain.

~~~~An grúpa comhrá~~~~

You
Listen to this
https://youtube.com/shorts/SmYXmO53lF8?feature=share
Now listen to this at like
16 secs
https://youtu.be/u19RPQAhz_k
Someone literally took a Captain
America safety video and made
it into a thirst trap

Tony
When did he do the
safety videos?

Steve
Oh god

You
Hahahaha
I release the Peter

Awesome Kid
You've never seen rappin
with cap
It's a whole bunch of safety
videos they make you watch
if you get detention
No offense Mr. America,
but they are so boring!!!
And they literally show it
to you for everything
Everyone to the common room
now

You
What the kid said

We watch rappin with cap on the big screen. Everyone laughs, and Steve looks like he's trying to melt into the couch.

I sitting next to him, do the responsible thing and ask what's wrong.

He just goes farther into the back of the couch.

I put my arm around him and pull him back up to the front of the couch. I don't move my arm back because the towers fucking freezing and he's warmer.

He seems to go even more red if that's even possible.

"You sick, mate?" I ask.

"No," he replies, patriotically.

"Okay, if you say so," I promptly fall onto the floor and fall asleep. It's late at night, leave me be.