Why Me? (An Avengers Wrong Number)

My Rant About Airport Security

Around 10 AM, Y/N burst into Juni's house scaring both Wilbur and Juni who were sitting on the couch.

"The door was locked!" Juni complains.

"It was?" Wilbur sounds almost amazed. "Wait I thought I had the other key?"

"You each have a key but Y/N can't fucking open a door with a key quietly so that basically means she broke down my door," Juni explains quickly. She wags her finger in Y/N's face. "You're paying for whatever damage is done."

"Okay, okay," I say in defeat. "Now get in the fecking Uber before it drives away with my shit and the jar that's making me go through all of this."

"Yes, ma'am," they say in unison, rushing to their bags. I just turn around on my heel, click my tongue and walk towards the car.

Eventually they get their bags and bodies into the car and we drive to the airport.

Airport security sucks. I don't care if you've never been or if you've been a million times, security always sucks. Especially when all 3 of us don't really have "real" jobs. I mean, a hacker, a streamer and assassin? archaeologist? military general? unemployed? Yeah, I don't know what my job is considered. Bonus round this time, it's an international flight. Second bonus round, transporting a fragile item in a box that has been bubble wrapped like all hell. Now that totally didn't raise suspicion.

Dreading this the entire way to the airport, I was not surprised for what happened.

We made it to security. Unluckily the box was a carry-on. They pulled all three of us into a separate room. We each had a bag or in my case a box.

"Names?"

"Y/N Y/L/N," I say.

"Juni Andrews," Juni and Wilbur follow suit, "William Gold."

"Reason for travel?"

"Work," I quickly answer, nodding my head hoping Juni and Will get the clue.

"Yes, work," Juni says.

"Same here," Will agrees.

"Ok then," the guard writes stuff down. "Professions?"

"I'm a coder," Juni answers first this time.

"I'm an editor," Will says which is half the truth.

"I'm an archaeologist," I explain.

"Very well," the guard says. "Cool jobs. Now hand over your bags and ehm, box. I have to search them."

After quickly looking through Juni and Will's bags without any suspicion, he gets to the box. Here's the surprising part. He pulls out his gun and points it at my head.

"Ehm, excuse me? What are you doing?" I ask.

"This jar, has extreme gamma radiation," he explains.

"Ok," I reply nonchalantly.

"It is from an archaeology site in France, yes?" he asks.

"Yes?" I answer. I see Juni faceplant and Will look at the wall like nothing is going on out of the corner of my eye.

"You are to hand that to me at once and you all will walk out of here with your lives. If you don't, I'll kill you all," he threatens.

"That second half was already implied, dumbass," I retort, quickly moving for the first time in a while and knocking the gun out of his hand. I slide the box to Will, who looks absolutely, hilariously terrified. Picture the painting "Scream" that's how he looked. I dive for the gun, shoot him in the shoulders, and 1 knees to disable him and grab the clearance stamp and stamp it on all our passports. I take the box back from Will and we all head to our gate with 2 hours to spare.

We all pull out our phones and apparently Will went straight to the group chat because Juni and I got a notification.

~~~~chat de group~~~~

Wilbah 🟤🎸
The pied Piper drank some coke

You
E-I-E-I-O

Anthony
Wtf?

Juni 🔫🐞
I love that song
N e ways, guess what happened
when we were going through
security at the airport?

Bruce
Hopefully nothing

America's Ass?
They gave you something?

Anthony
They let you off with no
problems??

Wilbah 🟤🎸
Something did happen
They gave us trauma
And they did let us off with
no problems once the were
immobilized and on the floor

Bruce
WHAT??
HOW ARE YOU STILL
ALIVE??
HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON
A PLANE?

You
So long story short, the
dude interviewing us
so we could pass pulled
out a gun on me

Anthony
Htf?
Wtf?
TF?
Just fuck?

America's Ass?
This is Brighton's world
We live in it

Wilbah 🟤🎸
The Starbucks line has shortened
Everybody on da lay
C'mon, I want coffee

Anthony
Same

Bruce
They have stopped responding
I'm assuming we don't spam them
until tomorrow

Anthony
👍

America's Ass?
Ok