Who am I to you / Xiaother & Kazuheiscara

Chapter 11

Scara's pov

K: "good luck taking care of that"

S: "HUH"

What is he talking ab-. Oh.

Dammit xiao and aether.

Now what tf am I supposed to do with this.

And the worst of all is that Zuzu saw it.

Wait why did I call him that ew

Scara just shut up, you're dumb, why would you call him Zuzu

Wait that's out of topic, the problem here is this.

It's 3am and I'm half drunk.. Too tired for this.. But it's bothering me.

Xiao I'll fucking kill you tomorrow, couldn't you guys be a little quiet!? Was it really that hard!?

Well obviously it wasn't harder than this.

Dammit dammit dammit.

Now he probably thinks I'm just a horny, alcoholic, mean, stupid, dumbass i-

Why do i wanna cry.

No scara don't cry now.

I'm so done with overthinking, i just was for once to be able to sleep peacefully at night.. Without having to burden kazuha to help me calm down and sleep.. I just wanna sleep.. I just wanna have a normal life like everyone else..

Why am I like this.. Why do I hate myself and the way I act so much but in front of others I'm so confident about it that it looks like I'm proud of my behavior.. The only human on earth who knows about the way I feel is Kazu.. But can I even trust him..? We only met a few weeks ago.. Dammit.. Why did I show him.. Why did i let him in..

Why did i let him see how weak i actually am.. Why couldn't I shut up that night and bottle everything up like i always do... Why.. Just why... Now he knows.. What if he turns against me like everyone else did in the past..

I hate being with others because everyone is fake but i don't wanna be alone.. I hate being alone.. But how can I trust people after everything I've been through..

I'm probably overthinking things again.. He's kind.. He won't hurt me.. He's been very gentle with me.. But still.. I'm scared.. I'm scared he'll leave too.. I don't want him to leave but at the same time I dont trust him..

What the fuck is wrong with me..

Suddenly i felt a warm palm around mine, holding it softly. I looked at my hand only to see kazuha intertwining our fingers and caressing my thumb softly.

K: "it's okay scara.. It's normal.."

S: "h-huh.."

K: "you're overthinking again, aren't you?"

S: "how.."

K: "you're crying.."

For some reason after kazuha said that he parked in an empty parking lot.

S: "why did you stop..."

K: "I want to make sure you're fine.."

S: "why.."

K: "because I care about you scara, we've talked about this"

S: "I-"

Third person's pov

Kazuha left the car and opened scara's door.

K: "come with me"

Scara slowly nodded and went out of the car. Kazuha walked down the parking lot and scara followed, a bit confused until he saw a beach.

S: "a beach...?"

K: "mhm"

S: "i don't understand.."

K: "the sounds the waves make always helped me to calm down.. I know how you feel, I've been there too but I'm feeling way better now. I had a friend who would always support me and help me at my worse.. You need a friend like that too so I'll be here for you"

S: "where's your friend now..?"

K: "...."

K: "he's.. No longer here.."

Scara felt so bad for asking.

S: goddammit why did i have to ask that.. Now i made him sad.. I reminded him of his friend's death. Good job Scara, why can't you shut up already!?

K: "you're overthinking again aren't you?"

S: "..."

K: "I wouldn't done the same but it's fine, really. I've gotten over his death now"

S: "alright.."

Kazuha sat down at the sand and looked at the horizon in the dark sky.

K: "come here"

Scara slowly walked closer to Kazu, sitting beside him.

K: "are you cold?"

S: "I'm fine"

K: "alright."

There was silence for some minutes.

K: "so.. Wanna talk about it? It's good to open up"

Scara wanted to tell him, he wanted to trust him but for some reason he hesitated. And he hated that. Kazuha was so kind and patient with him and if he kept being so cold to him he would end up pushing him away.

K: "it's okay, take your time"

S: "i wanna tell you but.. I-i want to trust you but I cant.. I'm sorry.. I really am.."

K: "as I said, take your time. I'll be here."

K: "opening up is relieving sometimes. It's good to have someone to talk to. I'll be here whenever you need me. I promise"

S: "can i.. Hug you?"

K: "dont even ask"

Kazuha opened his arms and scara crawled into his hug slowly. He laid his head on the blonde's chest. Hearing his heartbeat always made him relax. For some reason he felt comfort whenever he was with Kazuha and he didn't understand why. He had never felt like that. He was lost in thought and slowly fell asleep. Kazuha didn't feel like coming back, it was beautiful and peaceful here so he slowly placed scara beside him, he got up and got some blankets from the car. He always had some with him in case he ever felt like staying out and watch the stars. He loves stargazing. He laid some blankets down and placed scara on them gently. He then laid behind the sleepy boy and covered both of them with the rest of the blankets so they wouldn't get cold.

Scara, even though he was asleep, could feel zuzu's absence from him arms and crawled on his chest again, cuddling softly. Kazu placed a kiss on his forehead and slowly fell asleep too under the beautiful night sky, full of little sparkling stars.
______________________
Kazuscara cuz they deserve the best.

I just want Kazuha to travel to sumeru and find scara with us. I just want kazuha to be the reason scara will kinda join the traveler (since he'll become playable or at least i hope so)

Or like at least to get his vision in a heartbreaking, beautiful, full of tears moment like pls give me some scara angst.

Or at least a Kazuha and Scara interaction I'm begging.

ANYWAYS GOODNIGHT, SORRY IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS SHIP YOU'LL HAVE TO SUFFER IN THIS BOOK CUZ I LOVE THEM THANKS <3333