How can I Sleep?

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Benjamin's POV

Today is my engagement with Sita. Joseph gave me dress in bag. He was suppressing smile when gave which worried me. I regret asking him to choose my outfit, didn't know what he chose. I'm very picky about my clothes. Seeing Sherwani, I was flabbergasted. My mind screamed in horror, it's purple color. Come on I'm Benjamin Kurien, how can I wear girly purple color. I wanted to strangle Joseph. Just then I received text message from him, 'stop cursing me and wear it. Trust me, you will thank me later'

Thanks for this ridiculous color? Never. Having no choice I wore it. I reached the venue, our farmhouse. It's decorated like in fairy tale.


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After sometime Sita entered. I forgot to blink, she looks ethereal. Now I understood Joseph's message. Our dresses are twinning.

 Our dresses are twinning

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She looked nervous. 

"You look gorgeous, can't take my eyes off you" I complimented. She blushed enhancing her looks. We exchanged the rings. I bought ring for Sita this morning, I didn't want the one chosen by someone else. I wish Sita chose mine. 

We exchanged rings. It's just my family and few of close relatives and friends. Everyone congratulated us. We returned home after dinner. I couldn't sleep, want to talk to Sita. I didn't get chance during engagement and after that. I want to know how she is doing? After debating whether to go and check on her, I decided to check anyway. Her door is not locked, I peeked through the door. Sita is tossing on the bed.

"Not sleepy?" I asked

She was startled

"What are you doing here?" She asked sitting on bed

"I couldn't sleep, wanted to check how you are doing. You know what I mean... you don't like this engagement..." I sat next to her on bed

"I feel anxious, don't know why" she said

"Don't think about anything, this engagement has no importance in your life" i said with heavy heart. I wish she reciprocates my love

"What about you?" She asked

"What I feel doesn't matter..."

"You bought this engagement ring, isn't it? It's not the one John and Nithya didi chose" she asked looking at the ring

I nodded

"John's taste is terrible, seeing your ring everyone will think my choice is terrible... so I bought it" I tried to convince her. She looked at me emotionally 

"It's beautiful" she said 

It made me happy 

"Are you ok?

"I don't know... I was thinking about my parents...how they will react knowing about this. I don't like grandeur parties so I used to celebrate my birthdays and achievements with my family, Santu's family and couple of my close friends. 

My dad has so many dreams about my wedding.  I promised him that I won't throw tantrums about wedding arrangements.  I feel like I betrayed him, breaking my promise. I love mom and dad almost equally but I love dad more. Dad never said no to me except about my marriage with Santhu. I told him I'm just 22, can't marry now. 

I got engaged to you without them" she said holding tears

I can understand her pain

"This engagement is not real for you, it's your kindness, helping a stranger. If you accept my love, we will get engaged and marry for real with your parents acceptance. Otherwise I will let you go from my life, you don't have to think about me or engagement ever" I said honestly.  It will kill me to let her go but I won't stop her

"Will you be ok if I go?" She asked 

"I want to give you happiness. If your happiness is without me, I can't hold you"

She was silent 

"Sleep Sita, don't think of anything else" i said getting up from bed. She held my hand

"Can you... sleep here" she whispered 

I laid on bed

"Do you accept I'm better than Ace" I teased

"Ace is best" she said

"I will lock him in attic" i said

She laughed and snuggled into my arms

"I sleep alone... I never had anyone on my bed, not even Sathu..." she said

"I'm sorry Sita, I don't mean a single word I uttered that day. I was jealous and in anger I spoke nonsense. You are so pure and perfect in every way. You are my Sita" I said. I'm ashamed of what I said

She wished me good night and slept. She sleeps in seconds and made me sleepless. How can I sleep having her in my arms, I mean I'm beyond happy that she never let anyone on her bed except me but I'm a man, my hormones are making it hard.



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