slow down ➳ 이희승

𖥻 chapter twenty one

"I'm glad."

and that's all she needs to hear to feel assured. she mirrors his expression ─ smile bigger than his ─ as she barely keeps herself from hugging him like tomorrow isn't confirmed.

"okay... nice." she chooses to say, teeth trapping her bottom lip between them as she sways left & right. she's feeling like a teenager whose crush just asked her out, but she could care less.

she's happy, genuinely happy.

and like any other happy moment, it has to be interrupted by something so little, so unimportant; that little thing being heeseung's phone.

of course it has to be a phone.

heeseung, though nonchalant about it, scoops his phone out of his hip pocket. "i'm sorry..." he mutters. she's quick to assure him that it's fine, just when he glances at the caller id, and his heart drops.

what a foul timing it is.

his wide eyes must have given out a lot, because her voice echoes full of concern when she speaks up. "hey, is everything okay?" she asks, coming closer to him & placing a hand on his forearm.

he sucks in a deep breath, shifting his gaze from the screen to her doe eyes. "yeah. it's just... someone." he smiles, though in a not so convincing way ─ and ava isn't half dumb to let it slide.

"you seem troubled, are you sure it's not important?" she insists, and that little voice somewhere at the back of her mind ─ the one that shows up at the most unnecessary of moments ─ echoes warningly.

"you'll get hurt again. you can feel it."

and the worst part is that she feels it. the tight knot on her stomach seems to get tighter and tighter. heeseung, instead, gives no reply.

and so, she takes it upon herself to find out what's it that's bothering him. she grasps the phone off from his hand & throws a quick glance at the screen.

"katana?" she breathes out, looking up at him with a raised brow. "what's up with you and her?" she asks just when the ringing stops. heeseung takes one deep breath, nervously scratching the back of his head.

"she's a past hook-up of mine."

there goes the bomb that explodes.

"but don't worry, it's been a long time since we last saw each other."

and there goes her heart cracking.

"ava..."

and here's the part where she has to fake a smile, putting on an act before she storms off to her house, bound to have another breakdown.

only, she doesn't move an inch. she stands there, right beside him, her lips parted just the slightest as she takes shallow breaths through the little gap.

"is that so?" she challenges, raising a brow with her arms crossed over her chest. heeseung's orbs are shaking as he calls for her. "ava─"

"then why's she calling you huh? if it's been that long since you guys fucked, she shouldn't even bother to call. but don't you look at that!" she shakes the phone in front of his face, & his head drops to his chest.

"I know we're not a couple but... you should've had the decency to wait till you get back home." she scoffs. "and to think that you're the one who said I won't pretend."

"you're indeed pitiful."

his head shoots up, that very specific sentence poking on his nerves. "ava I swear, it's been a month since I even bothered with this woman. she's just a one-night stand!"

she puffs her cheeks, crossing her arms over her chest as she avoids his pleading gaze. he seems genuine, but a very big part of her doesn't want to believe him.

why'd she even think that he changed?

people don't change.

"please... leave." she finally breathes out, causing the raven haired to stare at her with his mouth agape. "ava... please believe me."

"why do you care about it anyway? it was nothing but a hook─up, nothing more." she emphasizes, sighing after finishing her sentence.

"I won't pretend, but I also won't think of it as something... important."

and she really wants that statement of hers to be true. because it's not. it was very much important to her, given the fact that she was ─ for once ─ treated the way she believed she deserved.

heeseung's lips part in a husk, eyes glossy under the morning light. it is only past nine in the morning, yet his heart is already wounded and feeling heavy in his chest, predicting a busy, full of emotions day.

"shit." he breathes & his voice cracks, gripping onto his hair. "shit shit shit." he turns around, hiding his face in his palms and forcefully rubbing.

ten seconds.

in those ten seconds that follow, he gets into his car and quickly speeds away, grip tight on the wheel & eyes brimming with tears.

in those ten seconds, ava watches the man drive off the neighborhood at a crazy speed, a quiet sob escaping her lips as she turns around, the weather getting colder all of a sudden.

she walks up the inner staircase to her apartment, taking her time as she groggily opens the door and drags her feet inside. a strong, loud bang echoes through the hallway as she slams it close, bumping the heel of her palm on it with force.

her cheeks feel itchy and hot, as she thinks of ways she can possibly let go of the stress heeseung caused within her ─ thinking back to it, the past two days she's been hanging with the man have been nothing but stressful.

in the end, she scoops her phone out of her pocket & searches through her contacts. she abruptly stops scrolling when she's met with a name and a number she's been hoping she won't ever contact for that specific reason.

yet, she finds herself tapping on it, the ringing of the phone filling her ears as she patiently waits for him to pick up. hopefully he's not busy with training.

"hello?" a voice says from the other line and ava jumps, glad to hear his voice after what seems like months.

"jay! hi! uhh... how've you been?" she asks, chewing on her thumbnail while shuffling is heard from the other line. "ava! what a lovely surprise. I've been good, how bout you? it's... quite early? is everything okay?"

"yeah! yeah, I'm great. it's just ... I really need to blow off some steam right now..." she carefully says, not missing jay's faint chuckles. "hmm~ thought we've gave up on that long time ago."

"but who am i to say no?" she senses the smile in his voice, toying with the rips on her jeans as she hums. "you're not busy with competitions right now are you?"

"no no, don't worry. be there in ten." he shortly replies and ends the call, as she throws the phone on the couch & leans back on the armchair, her legs spreading as she tries to make herself comfortable.

but even in her own house, she can't seem to find some peace.