still into you.

your beige camera.

I'm sorry for wasting paper; that last letter was short. But I'd already wrapped it in an envelope to send to Vancouver.

I can't help but be reminded of the times when you'd scold me naggingly when I'd act childishly.

It reminds me of how I've grown up since our breakup, since there's no one to nag me anymore about the little things I don't take my time thinking about anymore like you did.

But, you too make mistakes, Juums.

Like you leaving your camera at my apartment.

I was cleaning out my old stuff (see? I've changed :3) and found the old camera you left.

It was on the 30th. The 30th of November. When you visited me for your college break to celebrate our three-years milestone and brought your polaroid camera, the same one you used to document all the milestones in our relationship.

I remember you used up all the film, with that photo being the tenth and last photo before we needed to buy more film.

Remember how you saved up your pocket money for one and a half years just to get that for us?

Yeah, I still love you for that.

And I'm sorry.

Because not even we could save that beige camera that we saved up so much money for.

On the night of our fight, it had fallen to the ground by accident — the sole root of our lengthy argument. All these feelings we bottled in; of isolation, of anxiety, of homesickness; we let it affect us. And it ended in a night of tears, stress, fatigue, and the end of a three-year relationship and eighteen-year friendship.

Sometimes, I think that our relationship should've stayed strangers, and I know you've thought of it that way.

Because what we thought would be an everlasting friendship, with butterflies, love, and giggles, would only result in shattered hearts and hollowed souls.